


A Case Of The Mondays

by carolinablu85



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: Family, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Love Triangle, M/M, Reuniting And It Feels So Good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-02
Updated: 2011-10-02
Packaged: 2017-10-24 06:24:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 38,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/260126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinablu85/pseuds/carolinablu85
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Noah has made it clear he wants Luke back. Will it be too late for Luke to do the same? (<i>set in summer 2010</i>)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Drinking Games

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this one while on painkillers, recuperating from my accident... so. you know. it's a lil' crazy, premise-wise! Have fun :)

_…Monday…_

 __Casey entered Yo’s with one thought on his mind. Beer. Lots and lots of beer, maybe some shots, and then more beer. He sat down heavily on a stool, his focus solely on the man behind the bar. The guy nodded to him, signaling he’d be over in a moment. Casey sighed, dropping his head into his hands and running his fingers through his hair. Hoping it would comb out the images he couldn’t get out of his brain. Though, if it didn’t work, he bet lots of beer would.

“Hey.” The person he had sat down next to turned to him with a slightly unsteady, but surprised, move.

Casey turned as well, startled to see Noah on the stool beside his, an almost empty beer mug in front of him. “Noah! What’s up, man?” 

Noah smiled at him, and it was friendly but strained. “Not much at the moment.” He drained the rest of his beer, voice quieter. “Not much at all.”

Casey could unfortunately relate. A lot. He looked over at his friend, still surprised to see him here. “Didn’t figure you for a ‘drown my sorrows’ type of person.” He signaled for a drink of his own, thought the better of it, and waved for two instead.

Noah shrugged, setting down his now empty glass. “Nothing else seems to be working, so…” Now it was his turn to study Casey. “Are you okay? What brought you here?”

“Get ready for this,” Casey glanced up as the bartender set two beers in front of him. “I saw Ali kissing my uncle.”

Noah raised his eyebrows, then nodded. “I saw Luke kissing my doctor.”

They stared at each other for a moment, and then Casey slid that second beer over to Noah. “Cheers.”

“Back at ya,” Noah raised his drink, and they clinked their glasses together before taking a big gulp.

************

Two beers and a shot (or two) later finally gave Casey the courage to ask what he wanted to ask. “So, dude, I have to know.” Noah glanced over, setting down his beer, readying himself. Casey shook his head. “What happened with you and Luke? You were supposed to be, like, _forever_  stuff.”

Noah gave a half-hearted laugh that lasted less than a second. “Says who? Not me or Luke. We just… couldn’t keep going like we were. I was a mess, Casey.  _Am_  a mess. And Luke was- didn’t…” He sighed. “I could feel it. That it was going to happen.”

“What was going to happen?” Casey asked.

“We were drifting away from each other. Or I was drifting. He was, I don’t know,” he scratched the back of his neck. “He was facing forward. I was facing nowhere. And he wouldn’t let me find my way back to him.”

“What’s that mean?” Casey was momentarily distracted by his beer, but then swiveled back around.

“I couldn’t breathe. And I couldn’t see. It was dark everywhere and suffocating and any time I tried to figure things out for myself, I couldn’t because I felt so guilty about how Luke was feeling and how Luke was doing.” He traced a water ring on the bar top.

“You couldn’t separate things,” Casey suggested.

“Exactly,” Noah said in relief, and they clinked glasses again in celebration. Noah swallowed his beer and then looked down again. “And I know it’s my fault that we broke up, that we headed in that direction to begin with. I know I was an ass. I know if we have any chance of getting back together I have to do it.” He shrugged. “But I don’t know if I’m brave enough. He’s been with Dr. Oliver since before I got my sight back.”

“No way!” Casey nearly did a very flawless spit take. “No way, Luke wouldn’t do that. He…”

Noah shrugged. “He did. I kinda knew when it started, but I didn’t see it for real until today.” He grimaced, “It wasn’t pretty. But I guess it’s what I needed to see, to convince me that Luke and I are really over.” Another long drink from his glass. “I think I’m just destined to be alone.”

Casey nodded, commiserating. “Ali and I had another one of our ‘where are we going talks’ yesterday, and it pretty much headed into Friendsville and never left.”

“Plus there’s, you know, that whole she’s-kissing-your-uncle thing. Do you still want to be in a relationship with her?” Noah asked, doubtful. 

“Nope! I know I don’t,” Casey grinned sadly. “But I liked being in one. I like how it feels when someone actually likes me. And I like her. I probably still love her.”

“Just not  _that_  way,” Noah finished quietly.

“Yeah,” Casey breathed, stealing a glance at his friend. “Not like you love Luke.”

“Yeah,” Noah said even quieter. They looked at each other and then looked away, almost uncomfortable with everything they’d just confessed. Noah cleared his throat, grabbing his jacket and standing. “So…”

“So,” Casey repeated, doing the same. Then he looked up with a grin. “Same time tomorrow?” And after a moment, he was surprised at how relieved he felt when Noah grinned back.  


************

 _…Thursday…_

Luke inched his way backwards from the doorway, smiling when Reid leaned into him one more kiss. “I really do have to go,” he murmured when Reid made no move to step away.

Reid smirked. “No one’s stopping you.”

He smirked right back. “Your hand on my arm seems to be trying pretty hard.” He glanced down pointedly.

Reid followed his gaze, looking a little surprised to see it was true. “Huh, imagine that.” Before Luke could banter back he went in for another kiss.

Luke obliged for a few seconds before gently, teasingly pushing Reid away. As always. He saw the knowing, hurt?-of-course-not!-look on Reid’s face, but ignored it. “Call me tomorrow when your shift is done, I’ll bring dinner.” He pulled his jacket on a little tighter, his subtle signal that he was leaving for real this time.

Reid wasn’t one for subtle, apparently. “Why not just stay here tonight, and I’ll get breakfast in the morning?”

Luke laughed, but it was a little forced. “Maybe next time. But I’ve got early meetings tomorrow, and you’ve got, like, brains to fix or whatever.” Reid stared at him for a moment, making Luke squirm a little. He’d been looking at Luke like that a lot lately, and Luke still hadn’t figured out what the look meant. Part of him was too tired to care. Before any more words could be said, he gave Reid another quick peck and turned to go. “Tomorrow night. Dinner. Call me.”

He wouldn’t admit that he was relieved there was no response. He wouldn’t admit that it felt so weird not to end an exchange with an ‘I love you.’ He wouldn’t admit that he’d be lying if he did end it that way.

He forced back a sigh as he headed towards Old Town, once again pulling his jacket tighter around him, like a shield. Why didn’t Reid get it? He just wanted something simple, casual. He didn’t want this relationship to be another…

 _Be another Noah_ , he forced himself to think. It wasn’t often that he let himself think that name anymore, it was just easier to pretend it was a done deal, a finished chapter. No- a finished book, shut and stored on the highest shelf on the bookcase. He hadn't actually seen Noah in weeks, the last time had been right after his sight had returned. And the less thought about that extremely awkward and painful interaction, the better.

Thinking about Noah in any way still hurt. Knowing he was around but hardly ever seeing him, that hurt too. Part of him had to wonder if it was Noah avoiding him or him avoiding Noah. Maybe a little of both? Or maybe neither and it was just Fate telling him that being apart was for the best. 

But it’s not like he thought about him all that often. That’s what Reid was good for, forgetting. Reid pushed Luke, challenged him like no other person ever had. He didn’t let Luke get away with anything. And he was smart, confident, good-looking… It was an adult relationship, and Luke was trying to be a grownup part of it. He was more involved in work and Reid than anything else, and that was good. Luke didn’t have time to think about Noah when he was with Reid. And that was what he wanted.

But he didn’t want any more than what they had. Yeah, the physical part of their relationship was great, but he wasn’t ready for another lover. He wasn’t sure he could handle immersing himself yet again in another person and have it fall apart. Luke wasn’t stupid; he knew Reid was the type of person to do what he wanted. And if for some reason Reid decided he wanted to leave Oakdale tomorrow, he would. Luke wasn’t about to watch another man walk away from him.

At least his parents had stopped questioning him about Reid. They still didn’t like him, sure, but they were accepting. Or, well, his mom was accepting. She had stopped making faces when Luke mentioned Reid’s name, and had even grudgingly asked if Reid would like to come to the house for dinner some night. Luke was actually surprised at how supportive his mother was being about it.

His dad, however, was another story. And Luke was admittedly thrown by how much Holden seemed to disagree with this relationship. He didn’t say anything, but Luke knew his dad, knew his silence said way more. And Luke wasn’t sure if it was because Holden loved Noah or hated Reid. Luke would’ve thought it would be his mother to take Noah’s side, but apparently it was his dad.

No. No. There were no sides. His parents weren’t taking sides. This wasn’t a Noah vs. Reid situation.  _And it won’t be, as long as you never see Noah with your own eyes_ , he thought. His subconscious had a really funny way of screwing him over, because no sooner had he had that thought when the person in question appeared in front of him.

Noah.

************

Alison had been a little bit wary when Noah had told her he and Casey had been hanging out every night for the past week. She knew it was good for Noah to get out of the apartment (finally) and hang out with friends (finally), but… did it have to be Casey? And what’s worse, they had now apparently dragged her poor brother into the party.

“Oh, Jesus H….” she muttered under her breath as she made her way into Yo’s. Casey and Noah were drunk. Totally and utterly wasted. She expected this from her ex, but from Noah?

Hunter spotted her a second later and frantically waved her over. “Ali! Hi! Hey! What are, what are you doing here?” he tried to be surprised by her appearance.

Casey looked at her blearily, swaying in his seat a little. Noah just pointed at Hunter, not fooled. “She’s here because, because you called her to  _rescue_  you,” Noah over-enunciated his words, obviously trying to keep the slur out of his voice. He wasn’t very successful.

Ali put one hand on her hip, wondering if this is what it would be like to have kids. “And it’s a good thing he did, because it’s late and you guys look like you’ve had enough for one night.”

“But we’re celebrating!” Casey protested. “I got a B on my PoliSci paper!”

“Congratulations,” she couldn’t help but smile at the proud look on his face. She turned to her roommate. “And what are you celebrating?”

“He didn’t see or think about Luke today,” Casey supplied helpfully when Noah hesitated. “He’s making progress!”

Both Ali and Hunter tried not to look at Noah as Casey said this. Noah fumbled with his wallet, dropping some bills on the table. “I’m, um, I’m ready to go h- get back to the apartment, Ali,” he said quietly, not looking at any of them. He stood, stumbling over his feet a little. Hunter instinctively stood and reached out to steady him.

Leaving Alison to deal with the other drunk at the table. “Casey? You ready to go too?”

Casey pushed himself up and away from the table, then quickly grabbed onto it to keep his balance. “Where the party goes, so goes I,” he stated formally. “And that means yes.”

“Thanks for the translation,” she grabbed one of his arms and walked him towards the door, trusting Hunter to do the same with Noah. 

Noah’s mood was turned back around by the time they got out of the bar, both he and Hunter giggling at the sight of Casey trying to walk and talk at the same time. After Noah assured everyone profusely that he was perfectly capable of leaning against a brick wall, Ali allowed Hunter to leave her alone with Beavis and Butthead so he could head off to the parking lot to get her car. 

Noah and Casey were trying to explain to Ali the complicated rules of a drinking game they had invented, when Ali couldn’t stand it anymore and turned to Noah. “You sure you’re okay?” she asked quietly as Casey, oblivious, kept explaining the game. 

He gave her the wide smile he always gave when someone asked him that question. “Totally fine. Better than. I’m awesome.” Unfortunately, he’d given that smile enough times that Ali saw right past it. 

“Noah, if you ever need to talk-” she tried.

“Don’t need to,” he cut in, leaning forward and almost falling on his face. “Whoa there,” he muttered to himself, reaching back slowly until he found the wall again. Then he turned back to Ali. “Didn’t need, want to talk today,” he somewhat explained. “Needed to drink.” He smiled proudly. “So I did.”

“Yes, you did that very well,” she replied.

“-And if anyone says ‘monkey,’ we all drink!” Casey happily finished up his rules. Noah laughed and pushed himself away from the wall, wobbling forwards until he was next to a bench. 

“Noah, come back here where I can keep an eye on you,” Ali scolded, trying to reach for him with one hand while using the other to keep Casey in place.

“Don’t need anyone to keep an eye on me!” he said in a sing-song voice. “I didn’t before, did I? Nope! So don’t now!”

“Noah…” she said in her best warning-voice.  _Oh my God, this is the voice my mom used to use on me when I was little. I’m way too young to be turning into my mother!_

“Ali,” he whined a little, waving his hands in the air. “I’m fine!” As he spoke, he spun around, and suddenly came face to face with Luke. 

It was somehow like the scene froze. Ali was afraid to move, and wouldn’t have if it weren’t for the fact that she had to keep a hold on Casey. “Well, guess that celebrating was a bit premature,” he whispered to her.

“ _You’re_  premature. Now shut up!” she hissed, eyes fixed on her roommate. She expected him to be frozen too, maybe run away, so it was mildly shocking when Noah grinned widely, this time genuinely.

“Luke!” he waved, walked closer a little unsteadily.

“Oh this is a bad idea,” Casey mumbled, turning his face away. Alison felt like doing the same, but she had to make sure Noah didn’t hurt himself as he stopped to stand in front of Luke.

“Noah…” Luke looked him up and down, completely thrown. “Are- are you drunk?”

Noah nodded determinedly, still grinning. “Very.” He took one more stumbling step closer, holding onto the back of the bench next to them. He gathered all his focus to look at Luke. “Hi.”

Luke bit the inside of his cheek, somewhere between wanting to smile and wanting to run away. “Hi.” He glanced over at Alison, but she made herself busy by bracing Casey, stopping him from falling through a window at Fashions. “Um, how are you-?”

“I still love you,” Noah burst out, his smile not fading. He nodded at the shocked look on Luke’s face, confirming it. “I,” he said proudly. “Am still completely in love with you.” And then, as though he just realized all he had said, the grin slid from his face, leaving a look of complete despair and loss in its wake. Alison bit her lip, heartbroken.

“I…” Luke opened and closed his mouth a few times, eyes wide. 

“I’m sorry,” Noah was whispering now. “I shouldn’t be… shouldn’t try to. You’re, if you’re happy now, I don’t want to- I shouldn’t.” He shook his head, a hand coming up to cradle it. “You’re better-”

“Shut up,” Luke cut in, just as quiet. “Just shut up for a second, Noah.” They stared at each other, and now Alison couldn’t look away. God, the two of them were just like magnets, pulling at each other. Why couldn’t they see that? Luke took a deep breath. “Noah…” Then he nodded to himself, as though coming to a decision, stepped forward and pulled Noah’s face to his.

Alison was about to grin crazily, triumphantly, and Casey let out a relieved sigh of his own, but then Noah was pulling away just before Luke’s lips could touch his. “No, Luke, you can’t!” Noah burst out, holding Luke’s shoulders. 

Luke’s eyes flashed angrily. “What?”

Noah shook his head emphatically. “No. I’ve been drink- I’m drunk, Luke. You can’t kiss me. You might, you’ll taste the alcohol. No, won’t let that happen.” And now Luke’s smile was as big as Ali’s. He gave a little laugh, his hands staying on either side of Noah’s face. Noah just looked at him, his expression was very determined, almost proud. “See? I’m taking care of you.”

There were definitely tears in Alison’s eyes now, and she blinked them away. Casey was watching them too, eyes wide, swaying. “Wow,” he said softly. “That’s awesome.”

Luke jumped a little, looking over at them as though just now realizing they were there. Ali smiled gently at him, still halfway propping Casey up. “I have to get this big lug back to his place, can you…?” she nodded over to Noah.

Luke bit his lip before nodding as well. “Yeah, I’ll get Noah back to your place.”

Ali reached into her pocket, pulling out a set of keys and tossing them over to Luke. Noah pointed at the keys as Luke held them up. “Hey!” he said brightly in recognition. 

Alison tried not to laugh. “Those are his,” she explained needlessly. “Good luck, Luke.” She held his gaze, wishing him luck in more than just getting the poor drunk guy home. He nodded in understanding, looking almost nervous now.

She pretended to be busy fishing Casey’s keys out of his jacket, but in reality she was watching Luke take hold of Noah’s arm, wrap it in his, and walk off in the direction of their apartment, speaking softly as he did so. She turned back to Casey when he started laughing again. “What’s so funny?”

“Them!” he caught his breath. “They, they’re such effing  _dorks_ , right? They love each other. They’re gonna get married, like, next week. Why fight it?”

She rolled her eyes. “Casey Hughes, for a pea-brained drunkard, sometimes you talk a lot of sense.”

He sighed, very very serious. “I know. It’s a gift and a curse.”

************

 _...Friday…_

Ali made her way into Noah’s room quietly and carefully. But the second she stepped up close to his bed, he cracked one eye open. She smiled as he looked her up and down, finally recognizing her and scooting over with a soft groan. She climbed into the bed, laid down on the pillow next to his, and stared up at the ceiling. “So, how was your night?” she asked, trying not to sound too eager.

He groaned again, also staring straight ahead. “Pretty much the worst ever, I think.”

“No, that’s your taste in drinking games,” she replied. “How did things go with Luke?”

“Ali…” he sighed, and her smile dropped away for a second. He wouldn’t look at her as he spoke again. “He brought me back here. We sat awkwardly on the couch for five minutes without saying anything, then I talked for five minutes. Which was just as awkward. And then he left.”

“What did you talk about?” she prompted.

Noah was quiet for a moment. “I told him I loved him again,” he finally said softly. “And I told him that maybe I didn’t deserve another chance with him, but I was always going to want one, and always going to love him. And I’d follow his lead on this. I don’t want to screw up again, so I’ll do whatever he wants. But, no matter what, even if he never wants to see me again, I’m always going to be in love with him and I don’t ever want to  _not_  be.”

Ali turned her head to look at him while he spoke, smiling again. “That sounds about right to me.”

Noah shrugged, not looking at her. “And then he left.”

“It’s a lot to take in, Noah. I’m sure he needs some time to think about everything,” she reminded him. “Just give him some space today, and I’m willing to bet he’ll be back pretty soon.”

Another shrug. “Either way, wasn’t exactly my best night.”

Ali went back to looking at the ceiling. “Did you throw up at the front door when he brought you home?”

Noah frowned. “No.”

She grinned. “Then your night wasn’t worse than Casey’s!”

That finally got him to chuckle, and he scrubbed his face with one hand, trying to will his hangover away. “Poor guy.”

“Poor Margo,” she corrected, before turning on her side to look at him and growing serious again. “Noah. No matter what ends up happening, it has never ever in the history of the world been a bad thing to tell someone you love them.”

“Yeah?” He looked down at his comforter, fiddling with an errant thread.

“Yeah,” she assured. “I mean,” she amended, laughing a little. “There are better and worse ways to do it of course,” she was glad when he laughed too. “But it’s never wrong.” Nudging his shoulder, “And I think whoever is loved by you is a pretty lucky person.”

He kept his head down for some time, and she stayed quiet, letting him get himself under control. Finally he looked over at her and gave her a movie-star grin. “I love you, Ali.”

She returned the smile for a second before mock-glaring and rolling away. “Nope, I’m not gonna be sloppy seconds, Mr. Mayer.” She sat up and slapped him on the stomach just before standing. “Come on, let’s go eat a giant greasy breakfast. Sound good?”

His hangover came back in full force, and he turned away with a groan. “Never mind. I hate you.”

************

 _I am still completely in love with you._

Luke couldn’t get it out of his head. Noah’s words, his voice- terrified but sure- as he said them, his face. All of a sudden it was like the last couple months hadn’t happened, and that electric current that came from being near Noah was back in full force. God, he got that buzz just from thinking about him. 

“I mean, it’s crazy, right?” he asked his dinner companion. “Noah says one little ‘I love you’ and I’m supposed to go running back to him? I’m stronger than that, aren’t I?”

“Well, first of all, it sounds like Noah said more than one little ‘I love you.’ And second of all, there’s nothing weak about admitting you love someone,” Lucinda pointed her fork at him in emphasis. 

He grimaced. “Maybe. But it shouldn’t be like he wants be back and I just give in and we pick up where we left off.”

“Give in?” she laughed. “Is that really what it would be?”

Luke sputtered a little. “I don’t, I don’t know.”

She arched an eyebrow, going back to her filet mignon. “I think you do know.”

He glared, staring down at his own steak. “I can’t believe he just springs that on me and then expects me to…” he stopped himself from saying more, knowing he was being a little stupid. And knowing his grandmother would point that out.

Too late. Lucinda set her fork down, folded her hands, and fixed him with a stare. “It sounds to me like Noah did it right. He told you how he feels, and also said he’d follow your lead on this. I don’t think he was expecting anything from you.”

“It’s just…” Luke searched for the right words, any group of words, that would explain how he felt. “We broke up. Really really broke up, and while I knew it wasn’t how he really felt, he all but said he thought we no longer had a future together.” He traced the condensation on his water glass. “It took me awhile to get past that. To get him out of my system.”

Lucinda huffed quietly. “Well, you’ve certainly been trying, I’ll give you that.”

He rolled his eyes, laughing. “Okay, I guess we can add you to the I-hate-Reid list.”

Another glare. “I don’t hate the man. I admire his work greatly, in fact. And I even think you and he work well together. But I don’t think this relationship you’re trying to force with him is good for you.”

“Wow, Grandmother. Tell me how you really feel,” he tried to say lightly.

She smiled, but it was tight. She wasn’t joking around anymore. “Darling, I think you’re in the middle of a nice, what do you call it…” she waved a hand around. “A nice ‘rebound’ relationship. And sure, maybe you care about the doctor. And he cares about you. But love? I don’t see love. I don’t see a future.”

Luke couldn’t even produce a snappy comeback. He shook his head weakly. “But…”

“Hush. If you were to get back together with Noah, I don’t think it would be ‘picking up where you left off.’ You have both grown a lot in these past few months. I don’t think either of you are the people you were when you broke up. You know me, dear. You know I’d tell you if I thought Noah wasn’t good enough for you.”

Luke felt a twinge in his stomach and fought that natural instinct to defend Noah. He hated when anyone, Noah especially, thought Noah was inferior to anyone. Anything. Noah had gone through the first eighteen years of his life hearing that crap, it wasn’t…

Lucinda was actually smirking at him now, like she knew what he was thinking. She probably did. “It’s no secret I love Noah. And I think he’s good for you. And you’re good for him. You’re old enough now to realize there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. But it’s the ones that make you think there  _could_  be, that are worth it.”

He sat back in his seat so heavily he almost bounced against the back cushion. “I just… I don’t know where to go from here.” He was supposed to have lunch with Reid tomorrow. How was he going to look him in the face, pretend everything was normal, when it so obviously wasn’t?

“Luke, darling. There is a very important first step. Something only you can do.” Her expression softened, even though her eyes were no less piercing. “You have to answer this- is there any chance that you are still in love with Noah?”

************

 _…Saturday…_

Noah considered himself a fairly patient person. He knew you couldn’t just rush through life and get the things you wanted. He knew sometimes you had to wait a long time, like eighteen years, to finally have good things happen to you. Eighteen years was a long time, but he had managed.

But now. God, he could barely stand eighteen hours. He was practically on pins and needles waiting to hear from Luke. He had reached for his phone maybe forty or fifty times to call him, but always managed to stop himself. No, he said he’d follow Luke’s lead, and that was what he was going to do. And Ali seemed so sure that Luke still loved him… Maybe she was right?

He rounded the corner in Old Town, knowing that with the mood he was in, only a milkshake from Al’s could help him now. His spirits were already starting to lift… until he looked in through the glass doors. And there was Luke, sitting with Dr. Oliver.

He stopped and stared, not able to move forward or back. He couldn’t really feel his body, but he was pretty sure he was either hyperventilating or not breathing at all. He watched the love of his life, watched him eat his lunch, talk, smile a little. He tried to shake himself; maybe this was a goodbye lunch or something, maybe Luke was going to tell Dr. Oliver goodbye, maybe they were about to-

But then they were kissing. Dr. Oliver was kissing Luke, and Luke was kissing him back. And Noah was positive now that he wasn’t breathing at all.  _Looks like Luke has made his choice, then. And really, did you actually expect him to choose you? After everything that’s happened, everything you’ve done? Who would ever choose-_

“Noah? Hey!” Hunter was standing next to him, tapping him on the shoulder. “Are you going to get lunch? Me too. I mean, if you are getting lunch, I am too. So that’s… you’re not listening. Are you okay?” He leaned in even closer. “You didn’t, um, suddenly go blind again or anything, did you?”

Noah blinked as Hunter entered his field of vision. “Hunter? No, yeah, I’m fine. I’m, um, I’m just going to…” he turned quickly, feeling like the nonexistent walls were closing in. He had to get out of here. He couldn’t look anymore.  _It’s your own damn fault, Mayer. Just accept that life as you knew it is over._

“Noah!” Hunter called after him, confused, as he took off and disappeared down a path leading out of Old Town. He glanced back, brow furrowed, in the direction Noah had first been looking. And then his face fell. “Oh.” And then Hunter did the only thing he could- he called his sister.

Explaining everything at the speed of light, he also set off to figure out where Noah had gone to. “And then I look back in Al’s and Luke is there kissing the doctor boyfriend and then I look back and Noah’s gone and I don’t know what to do.”

“Oh God,” Ali sighed. “And I told Noah that Luke would come back to him. Maybe… God, I’m on shift until like 4am.” She went silent for a minute. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I think the best thing would be to call Casey.”

“Really?” Hunter wasn’t really sure he saw the logic in that.

“Yeah. He’s Noah’s friend, understands what he’s going through, and he’s good for distractions. Add you into the mix and I think Noah might be able to keep his mind off things at least for a little while.” Ali slammed her locker shut, wishing she could leave the break room and just go home and hug her roommate. 

“Okay. Casey it is. I guess. If you think so.”

************

"See, you know a movie is bad when you can honestly say ‘Man, I’d rather rewatch  _Hot Tub Time Machine_  than watch this.’ This sucked,” Casey griped, tossing away his empty popcorn bag as they left the theater.

“Well, what do you expect when the best review in the trailer came from a local newspaper in Omaha, Nebraska?” Noah pointed out, picking up the discarded bag and throwing it into the trash bin along with his empty soda can.

“But it was based on an SNL skit! Those tend to do well-  _Blues Brothers_ ,  _Wayne’s World_ …” Casey tried valiantly.

Hunter spoke up. “But there’s also  _Night at the Roxbury_  and  _The Ladies Man_ ,” he shrugged. “Faulty logic.”

Casey glared. “I hate you and your logic sometimes.”

Hunter cocked his head to the side. “I think I’m okay with that.”

Noah laughed at the earnest expression on Hunter’s face, and the slightly outraged look on Casey’s. “Thanks, guys.” He had to look away when they turned to watch him. “Thanks for… um, you know.”

Hunter nodded, offering a smile, while Casey lightly punched Noah’s shoulder. “Seriously, dude, if you want me to go kick Diet Dr. House’s ass, I totally will.”

“Diet Dr. House?” Noah was a little confused by the reference.

Casey grinned proudly. “I thought this up two weeks ago. Diet Dr. House- tastes like regular Dr. House, but with half the coolness.”

A laugh burst out of Noah uncontrollably, even as he shook his head. “Casey, while that was pretty impressive, you don’t have to insult Dr. Oliver.”

“Why the hell not?” he crossed his arms defiantly. “He’s an ass. Everyone knows this. I’m not aware of any redeemable aspect to that man.”

“Luke likes him,” Noah shrugged, looking down again. “So there must be something we’re missing. He kinda helped me to see again, which is nice. And he makes Luke happy, so-”

Casey waved that idea away. “Sorry, Noah, but that guy’s a dick. Luke and Katie are like the only people in Illinois who like him. Just because he helped you, doesn’t mean you have to excuse who he is.” Casey shook his head, counting on his fingers. “You are way better boyfriend material. You’re kind and smart and loyal, you’re funny and can hold your own in liquor, and you’re way better looking than him.”

Noah was shaking his head to everything until that. Then he smirked. “Casey. Do you just say you think I’m good looking?”

He sputtered. “I didn’t- you know I didn’t mean it like that!”

Noah fluttered his eyelashes at Casey, who shook his head exasperated. “Come on, tell me you think I’m pretty.”

Casey sighed and then solemnly put his hand on Noah’s shoulder. “Were I gay, I would take you in a manly fashion.”

“Because I’m pretty?” Noah asked again, still smirking.

“Because you’re pretty,” Casey nodded.

Hunter had been staring at the both of them the whole time, slightly open-mouthed. Then he groaned, holding his face like he had a headache. “And you guys think  _I’m_  weird.”

Noah grinned wide then, so grateful that he had these guys after a day like today. He shoved a giggling Casey away from him. “I have to get home, I have a therapy appointment in the morning. See you guys later?”

Hunter nodded. “Maybe tomorrow night or the next we can do that movie marathon-  _9, Plan 9 from Outer Space, District 9_?”

Casey raised his fists in the air. “Dude,  _District 9_  for the win! Include popcorn and I’m totally in.”

Hunter looked a little mystified as he and Casey headed towards their cars. “I didn’t know you were invited…”

Noah waved goodbye to his crazy friends, shaking his head slightly in disbelief. Straight guys. Man, couldn’t live with them, couldn’t live without-

A hand reached out and grabbed him by the shoulder, yanking him backwards. His balance off, Noah stumbled back into the alley behind Yo’s, his arms instinctively going out to try to steady himself. Unfortunately, whoever grabbed him pulled him back into the darkness and wrapped their other arm around his chest, trapping his arms to his sides. “What-?” was all Noah managed to get out.

The hand that had been on his shoulder dropped away momentarily, and then was on his mouth, silencing him. “Shhh…” a voice, deep and quiet, murmured into his ear.

Noah struggled, trying to pull away, but the hands held him tight. And then he realized that the hand over his mouth wasn’t just that- it was holding a cloth against his face. He tried to yell, hoping somebody out in Old Town would hear him, but it came out too muffled. His panic grew when a sickeningly sweet smell surrounded him, overpowering him to the point of where his struggles grew weaker, unable to fight it off. His yells were even quieter now, barely a mumble against the cloth.

“That’s it,” the voice continued in his ear, encouraging. The cloth was mercifully dropped away, and Noah gasped for air. But it didn’t help, he couldn’t work up enough energy to make any noise. That hand was now in his hair, running through it almost gently. Petting him. 

He tried to shake free, get away, something. But his limbs were too heavy, and his vision was pretty much swimming now, blurring around the edges. Not good. Why wasn’t he more upset? His legs buckled out from under him then, and he probably would have collapsed to the ground if that other arm wasn’t still wrapped around him. 

“That’s it. Good,” the voice whispered again. Two arms were wrapped around him now, holding him up. No, not just that. Moving him. He was being pulled- dragged- somewhere. 

Somewhere in the back of his addled brain, Noah recognized this. There was something familiar, this had happened before. Wait. Was he being kidnapped? That lent him a little more clarity, a little more strength. He tried to dig his heels in as they scraped against the ground. “No.” He was impressed with how insistent he sounded. Unfortunately, it wasn’t that loud.

Also unfortunately, the person dragging him didn’t care. The hand was on his mouth again, the cloth back on his face, making him even weaker this time. “No talking, Noah,” the voice said, still so quiet. Noah wished it were louder, so he could see if he recognized it. He also wished he weren’t so tired…

This time when the cloth was pulled away, Noah didn’t- couldn’t- make a sound. His eyes had fallen to half-mast, the rest of his body doing only slightly better. The only thing keeping him upright were the two arms around him, holding him tightly, moving him along. When they stopped, Noah worked up just enough energy to turn his head and see the car before a door was opened and he found himself sprawled across the backseat. He gave another half-hearted protest that was more noise than actual words.

“Shhh.” Again, the hand in his hair, stroking, soothing. Noah’s eyes closed all the way at the feeling, almost against his will. He was lying bonelessly on the seats, and was just about to slip into sleep when the hand dropped away from his hair and moved down to his wrist. Both wrists were being held now, and then they were being held together. And then they were held together tightly, even after the hands dropped away.

Noah’s eyes opened again, albeit barely halfway. His wrists were tied together. What? Oh yeah, kidnapping. The car door was now shut and someone was moving around to the driver side. Noah tried to take that time to sit up, open the door, and escape. But none of those things happened. By the time the person was sitting in the driver’s seat, Noah had only managed to roll onto his side with a very faint moan. 

“No, Noah,” the voice sighed. Noah tried to focus, tried to figure out just who this was (and how they knew his name), but his vision was too blurry and it was too dark outside. The figure twisted around in his seat to look at him, then reached out a hand to rub his arm gently, then his back, then his hair again. Petting him again. And once again, Noah couldn’t help but close his eyes, stop fighting. “Lie still now.” Noah relaxed into the touch, it felt so good. It had been so long since someone… “Good, just like that.” The hand rested against his cheek for a moment. “Just like that.”

He let out a sigh, frowning. This wasn’t right, was it? He shouldn’t lie still. He shouldn’t be taking comfort from this person. This was wrong. This was bad. He tried to turn his head away, but it was just too heavy now.

“It’s okay, Noah.” The voice was softer, caring. He turned his face towards it, it sounded nice. “Just go to sleep. Lie still, and go to sleep.” The hand brushed hair off of his forehead, and if Noah had been able to, he would have cried right then. Luke always used to do that. God, how he wished he…

Thoughts were interrupted yet again as the hand pulled away, and Noah felt a tremor under him. The car was starting. Whose car was he in? Noah tried to remember, and he tried to remember why he couldn’t move his hands, but he was just too tired. And the rumble of the engine was just enough to lull him to sleep.


	2. Talking In Code

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How the hell had he managed to get kidnapped again? _Way to go, Noah. That’s like three times in about a year. Must be some kind of record._

_…Sunday…  
  
_ Casey saw Ali the second she barged into Java. She zeroed in on him and hurried over, stuttering a little when she saw that he was sitting with Margo. He almost winced and almost laughed at the same time. The other night’s encounter between his mother and his ex had not been all that pleasant.  
  
Of course, he probably hadn’t helped matters by puking on the welcome mat. (Though that did seem to be an oddly appropriate symbol.)  
  
He looked up and met her eyes as she came to a stop next to the table. “Morning, Ali. What’s up?”  
  
She crossed her arms, eyeing him disapprovingly. “How drunk did you guys get last night?”  
  
His eyes grew wide, and Margo just barely managed to avoid choking on her coffee. “What?”  
  
Alison kept up the glare. “You, Noah, Hunter. Last night. Just how drunk did you all end up getting?”  
  
Casey held up his hands defensively, looking back and forth between her and a suspicious Margo. “None. Last night we didn’t drink. At all. Honest.”  
  
“Well then what did you end up doing?” she kept at it. “Where did Noah crash for the night?”  
  
Casey frowned. That didn’t sound right. “What?” he asked again.  
  
She sighed, blowing her bangs back from her face. “Noah didn’t come home last night, and he missed his therapy appointment this morning.  _And_  he’s not answering his phone. Which idiot, you or Hunter, let him-”  
  
“Ali, neither of us did,” he cut in. She was about to protest, so he pushed on. “We went and saw a movie, then said goodnight. Hunter and I got into our cars, and Noah walked home. No alcohol, no crashing.” He narrowed his eyes, looking over at his mom. She appeared calm, but he could tell her interest was peaking. “He said he had to get up early for his appointment. I swear, that’s the last I saw him.”  
  
Ali’s glare slid away, replaced by wide eyes and a worried frown. Margo put down her coffee mug. “Alison, are you sure he didn’t come home last night?”  
  
She nodded, pressing her lips together tightly. “I stayed on the couch, waiting for him to come home. I wanted to talk about him and Luke-”  
  
“They’re back together?” Margo turned to Casey with a bright smile.  
  
He sighed, waiting until Margo’s smile dropped. “Noah re-professed his love for Luke, Luke pretty much kissed him, then Noah sees Luke and Diet Dr. House kissing at Al’s. Hunter and I hung out with him last night to, like, keep his spirits up.”  
  
“Okay, and what time did you last see him?” Margo’s voice had inadvertently gone into cop-mode, and Casey was slightly glad for it.  
  
“Um, like a little before eleven? He was on his way home.” Casey exchanged a worried look with Alison.  
  
“And he didn’t make it to his therapy appointment?” Margo went back to Ali.  
  
She shook her head. “I called the nurse on duty. Noah never showed up.”  
  
Casey stood up quickly. “Okay, well, we can check the blocks between the movie theater and your apartment first, right?” he turned to his mom. “Can’t you put out an APB or whatever it is?”  
  
Margo looked sadly at both of them. “Actually I can’t, Casey. A person has to be unaccounted for forty-eight hours before they can be officially reported as missing. I’m sorry.”  
  
“But anything could happen in forty-eight hours!” Ali stammered. “What are we supposed to do in the meantime?”  
  
Margo tried to give them a reassuring smile. “Try calling him again, ask around, check anyplace he might be likely to go.” She hesitated for a second. “Is it possible he just wants to be alone after seeing Luke? Or maybe he’s with Luke now?”  
  
“Maybe…” Ali drew the word out with a frown. “But it’s not like him to not answer his phone. Or at least let me know he’s okay…”  
  
Margo nodded, finally standing up herself. “Well, I do have to get to the station now. I’ll keep an ear out for anything, but like I said, there’s nothing the police can do until tomorrow night. Try not to worry too much, I’m sure Noah will turn up this morning and you can both yell at him, okay?”  
  
They both answered half-heartedly, watching as she left the coffeehouse. Ali turned back to Casey. “Do you really think Noah will turn up this morning?”  
  
Casey worried his bottom lip between his teeth. “Hope? Yes. Think? I don’t know. Like you said, it’s not like him to completely drop off radar like this.”  
  
She nodded in agreement. “So what are we going to do?”  
  
“I’m going to check the streets between the theater and your place, see if there’s anything there.” He thought for a second. “I guess you could go to the hospital? Maybe he’s going to a later therapy appointment, or maybe Chris has seen him or something? And between you, me, and Hunter we can all keep calling him until he answers his phone.” He hesitated, then put a tentative hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’m sure he’s okay. We’ll find him.”  
  
But as he headed out, Ali couldn’t help but think that his reassurance sounded just as empty as Margo’s had.  _Noah, where the hell are you?_  
  
************  
  
Noah kept having the weirdest dreams. Some were typical enough, random movie scenes or memories. One of him, Casey, and Hunter in the hot tub time machine. One with that hot guy with nice eyes from the  _Supernatural_  show Ali was obsessed with. A couple of Luke, of course. Maybe one of Jake Gyllenhaal, Noah couldn’t remember. A few more of Luke.  
  
But the weirdest dreams were these ones where he felt like he was awake, but he couldn’t move. He was pretty sure he was sitting in a chair, but it was like his hands were tied around the back of it. His vision was dim and blurry, like right after he got his sight back. And his hearing seemed blurry too, like he was underwater. His whole brain felt underwater. But Noah could blink and swallow around a dry throat, so this whole thing was just weird. And he had this dream a couple times, scattered between the others.  
  
He was back there now, still in that chair. He really wished he could lift his head up, though. He wished he could see what, if anything, was around him. Or who it was that was with him. Because he was sure there was somebody nearby, he could hear movement, see a shadow out of the corner of his eye. He tried to speak, tried to run away, tried to wake himself up, but nothing worked. This was possibly the weirdest and most boring dream he’d ever had.   
  
If only his mouth wasn’t so dry. He licked his lips, actually managing to let out a faint groan. The shadow moved yet again, this time coming up close to his side. And then it felt like a hand was on his shoulder, and something plastic was held up to his lips. What the hell?  
  
“Drink, Noah.” The voice sounded out of tune, like a record being played too slow.  
  
Drink? Oh, the plastic. It was a cup. He obediently took a few sips, realized how good the cool water felt in his throat, and drank some more. That must have been the right thing to do, because when the cup was sadly, unfortunately empty and pulled away, a hand very briefly landed on the top of his head, ran through his hair gently for a moment.  
  
Noah would’ve thought that drinking the water was the weirdest part of the dream, but it wasn’t. The taste of the water was. Or, more accurately, the aftertaste. It started to work down the back of his throat, bitter and almost metallic. And then that underwater feeling was back, threatening to drown him now. The voice said something else, but Noah was too tired to understand what that was. And he started to get pulled back into darkness, he hoped his next dream was more about Jake Gyllenhaal.  
  
Or Luke.  
  
************  
  
Luke didn’t know a person could feel as tired as he felt right now. He’d spent as much of the weekend as possible immersed in work, trying not to think about anything else. Any _one_  else. Yesterday had been one of the weirdest days Luke had ever experienced, and today was looking a little better only because he hadn’t seen either Reid or Noah.  
  
Well, so much for not thinking about him. Either ‘him.’ At least Reid hadn’t shown up to this morning’s hospital board meeting, Luke wasn’t sure how he could keep avoiding him without garnering any suspicion. “Is it too much to ask to go one week without any drama?” he mumbled under his breath.  
  
His answer came around the next corner. Luke unconsciously (or subconsciously, probably) took the same route to leave the hospital every time, one that took him past the physical therapy wing. And even though today he was hoping not to run into Noah, that didn’t mean he couldn’t do what he normally did and peak into the room Noah was usually in.  
  
Today, however, someone was already there. “Alison?”  
  
She jumped and turned, a startled and hopeful look on her face. It dropped immediately when she recognized him. “Oh. Luke, hi.”   
  
He frowned at the tone she used. It was nervous, tense, and… angry? Why would Alison be angry with him? Last time he saw her, she had been smiling and happy and asking him to take Noah home. Was she mad because he hadn’t given Noah an answer yet? “Everything okay?”  
  
She stared at him for a moment, as though unsure how to reply. “Is anything ever okay?” she finally countered, looking less nervous and more sad now. Resigned, even.  
  
Luke cocked his head to the side, offering a smile. “True enough, I guess.” When she didn’t return the smile, he felt compelled to try again. “Are you waiting for N-?”  
  
“Don’t, Luke,” she cut in sharply. “Don’t even say his name. It’s not like you care.”  
  
“What?” Luke actually took a step back, surprised at the almost-venom he heard.  
  
She softened, waving a hand. “Nothing, sorry, I’m just tired, and I…” she sighed. “I thought you and Noah were getting back together, and I made the mistake of getting his hopes up. It’s not your fault that you decided to stay with Reid.”  
  
He stared at her, completely thrown. “What… when did…? Who said I decided to stay with Reid?”  
  
And then Alison’s glare was back. “Uh, you did? When you kissed him yesterday at Al’s?”  
  
Luke’s stomach started to drop. “You saw that?”  
  
“No,  _I_  didn’t,” she snapped. “Noah did.”  
  
And now it was down below his kneecaps. “He saw us?” his voice came out as a whisper.   
  
“Yeah,” Ali was sad and nervous and disappointed all at the same time. Luke thought she’d make a great mom some day.   
  
And then it hit him again. Noah saw him kissing Reid. Noah, who had always had problems following his own heart. Noah, who had confessed everything he was feeling to him and in his own sweet-drunken-way had shown that he not only wanted Luke but wanted Luke to want _him_. Noah had seen him kissing Reid the next day. Damn it. “God, I didn’t mean for-”  
  
“For what, Luke? You didn’t mean for anyone to see? You were kissing that… that…” she couldn’t seem to come up with an appropriate description for Reid. “ _Him_ , you kissed  _him_  in the middle of Al’s, in the middle of the day. It’s not like it was in a bank vault or a panic room or whatever! What were you thinking?”  
  
Luke wanted to explain that that was just it- he hadn’t been thinking. But apparently Ali had gotten her second wind.  
  
“I mean, okay, the guy’s your boyfriend. And you’re allowed to kiss him wherever you want. But he was also your boyfriend the other night, when you would’ve kissed Noah if Noah hadn’t stopped you. And he was your boyfriend when you were with Noah in our apartment and Noah said he was still in love with you!” She shook her head. “Why couldn’t you have waited and talked to Noah first?”  
  
Luke belatedly realized she had been lecturing him, loudly, in the middle of a hospital hallway. “Oh God,” he whispered again, flushing slightly. He sagged back against the wall.   
  
Alison leaned back next to him. “I know you love Noah, Luke, so we can skip that question. I just need to know: do you love Reid more than you love Noah?”  
  
Luke was quiet for a minute. “I don’t love Reid,” he admitted quietly. He knew Ali was looking at him now, but he kept staring down at his shoes. “I don’t love him. But I like being with him. It’s easier. It’s uncomplicated.” At her disbelieving snort, he had to smile. “I know  _he_  isn’t easy or uncomplicated, but being with him is. Especially compared to…” He stopped.  
  
Ali sniffed before speaking up. “But you don’t love him. And you do love Noah.”  
  
“I know,” he nodded. “And that’s terrifying. I want to be with Noah, more than anything. And even though I’ve been scared of ending up where we were when we broke up, yesterday, I didn’t care. I was going to take that leap anyway. But I chickened out. I couldn’t go through with it, because all of a sudden I realized… going back to Noah would be going to  _forever_. Would be going on with the rest of my life because Noah… Noah’s it for me.”  
  
“And that’s scary,” Ali said softly, understanding.  
  
“Yeah. And then Reid was kissing me, and for a second it just felt so much less overwhelming, because there’s no pressure there. So I kissed him back. And then I finished lunch, went back to work, and have been trying not to think about either of them since.” He looked over at her finally. “But Noah saw us kissing. And now he thinks…”  
  
She looked sad again. “Now he probably thinks you don’t love him anymore, and that he never should have said anything to you, because he never stood a chance.” She shrugged. “At least that’s what I’m guessing.”  
  
He almost laughed- because yeah, that was typical Noah- but the words she used and the look on her face gave him pause. “You haven’t talked to him about it?”  
  
The look of fear, or nervousness, was back, and for the life of him he couldn’t figure out why. “No, he hung out with Casey and Hunter last night. I haven’t seen him yet.”  
  
Luke was pretty sure there was more to the story, but he didn’t push. “Are you waiting for him right now?” he asked, nodding towards the physical therapy room.   
  
Alison shook her head, biting her lower lip. “No, just seeing if he was here. But he’s not,” she pushed herself away from the wall, turning to head down the hallway. After a moment’s hesitation she turned back to him. “You know you are going to have to talk to both of them, right? No matter what you decide to do?”  
  
He nodded heavily, and she walked off before he could say anything. He stayed where he was for a little while longer, looking into the empty physical therapy room. And then he frowned, as something Alison said stuck in his brain again. ‘Just seeing if he was here?’ Did Alison not know where Noah was?  
  
************  
  
 _…Monday…_  
  
Noah moaned softly, head hanging low, chin dropped to his chest. Sometime ago, maybe three or four ‘dreams’ ago, he’d come to the realization that this wasn’t a dream. That something was very very wrong, and he just might be in some trouble. He had vague recollections of saying goodbye to Casey and Hunter at the movie theater, and then flashes of an alley, a car, some stairs. A room. He was pretty sure he was in that room right now.  
  
Crap. How the hell had he managed to get kidnapped again?  _Way to go, Noah. That’s like three times in about a year. Must be some kind of record._  
  
His head was pounding in time with his heart beat, so loud and distracting that he almost missed the other sound- footsteps on the stairs. Heading towards him. Instinctively, and almost against his own will, he started struggling yet again against the ropes or whatever was tight around his wrists. He still only barely had an idea of what was going on, but he was pretty sure that ‘getting away’ was probably the best course of action.  
  
“It’s a little early for you to be awake,” a voice called out from across the room.   
  
Noah recognized the voice, he knew he did. But the pounding in his head, the lingering underwater feeling, it all left him confused. He wished he knew who this was, why he was here. He moaned again, his dry throat choking him and turning it into a cough.  
  
The voice was closer, and he knew if he could just lift his head then he’d be able to see who this was. But no, he was too weak and couldn’t move his seven-hundred-pound head. (At least, that’s how heavy it felt.) Wait- the voice was talking. “Sounds like you’re thirsty. I have some water here, it might help.”  
  
The plastic cup was back at his lips, but Noah turned his head away. This was how it happened, there was something in the water that kept Noah weak, kept making him pass out over and over again. “No,” he managed, his voice sounding rough and faint even to his own ears. Another cough scraped against the back of his throat, but he swallowed it back down.  
  
The hand on the back of his neck tightened almost painfully. “Come on, Noah, work with me here. Just drink a little water and you’ll feel better.”  
  
He shook his head, fighting back the dizziness that came with the movement. “Let me go,” he mumbled. That voice, he knew that voice.  _Work with me here…_  The hand on his neck didn’t move. In fact, it started to rub at the tension in his muscles, almost soothing. But Noah knew better now. He tried to pull away again. “Let me go.”  
  
The guy actually laughed. “Can’t do that, at least not yet. There’s still some things I need to do. And I need you here with me for that.” The cup was finally pulled away, but the hand on his neck lingered for a second longer. A second that Noah really, really hated.  
  
“Why…” he swallowed hard again, gathering up his strength. “Why are you doing this?” His voice sounded as slurred as it did after a night out with Casey.  
  
“I’m just taking what’s mine,” the voice was smooth, confident. “It’s time you and Mr. High-and-Mighty-Prince-of-Oakdale realized you don’t get everything you want in life.” The hand was on him again, but Noah sluggishly ducked away. The guy laughed again. “Fine, be that way. I’ll give you some time to rest up and for everything to wear off.”   
  
Footsteps moved away from him, and he allowed himself to relax just a little bit, still tugging on his restraints. This guy was after him and Luke? Why? What had they done to him? They hadn’t even attempted to solve a crime in almost a year! What-?  
  
And then someone was crouched down right in front of him, lifting his head up a little bit. Noah was finally face to face with his captor, and he had to squint for a few seconds to finally get his brain to recognize the face. Which he did. His mouth dropped open, eyes now very wide. “You?”  
  
The guy in front of him smirked. “Like I said, rest up. In a few hours, you and I are going to have a nice long chat.”  
  
************  
  
Luke had thought getting some fresh air would help, but it didn’t. He was still crawling out of his skin, and even going for a walk made no difference. He was letting his feet wander wherever they wanted, but it still made him feel like he was pacing. He had to keep moving or else he’d have to start thinking.  
  
He hadn’t seen Alison since yesterday, but he couldn’t get their conversation out of his head. He had to talk to both of them, no matter what he decided to do. And, of course, the first step was actually making that decision. Yeah. Piece of cake.  
  
He looked up when his feet stopped moving, and realized he was standing in front of Al’s, with a direct view of the table he’d sat at with Reid. He glared back down at his feet, silently accusing them of trying to make him feel bad.  _It’s not going to work, Left and Right Sketchers._    
  
He stared at his reflection in the window, and was able to see another blond figure come up to stand next to him. “Returning to the scene of the crime?” the figure asked.  
  
“Hi, Casey,” he sighed. “You here to lecture me like Alison did?” he asked as he turned to face his friend.  
  
Casey shook his head. “Don’t need to. I know from personal experience that no one lectures like she does. I actually need to ask you something.” His face got really serious. “When was the last time you spoke to Noah?”  
  
Luke frowned. “And this isn’t the beginning of a lecture?” When Casey shook his head, Luke answered. “Last time I spoke to him was the last time I saw him, Friday night. Why?”  
  
Casey groaned inaudibly, walking away a few steps. Luke followed uncertainly. “Last time anyone saw him was Saturday night. Me, Ali, Hunter, his physical therapist- no one’s heard from him since.”  
  
Luke just kinda stared at his friend. “No one?”  
  
Casey shook his head again. “I even saw your dad, asked him. And my mom can’t do anything because a person has to be missing for forty-eight hours before the cops can get involved, and Noah’s only been missing for forty-two or whatever, so…” he trailed off with a shrug.  
  
Luke hesitated before venturing out with, “And you all are sure he’s not, um, just taking some time for himself somewhere? He’s done something like that before.”  
  
Casey closed his eyes for a second before opening them with a glare. “He’s disappeared without telling anyone or answering his phone or anything? Really? He’s done that before?” When Luke couldn’t answer, he let out a humorless laugh. “I’m not sure the Noah I’ve come to know is the Noah you think you know.”  
  
“Casey, I just-”  
  
“No. We’re all really worried about him, Luke. Do you actually want to go on record thinking he’s just out throwing a temper tantrum somewhere? Do you really think he’s the type of person who would let us all be upset like this?”  
  
Luke stared hard at Casey, unable to answer the question. “I…” and then luckily his phone rang, saving him from yet another round of How-To-Screw-Up-Your-Lovelife-In-Seven-Steps-Or-Less. He glanced at the screen before picking up, and an annoyingly giant amount of relief swept through him. He covered it by glaring at Casey. “It’s Noah.”   
  
Casey looked up at him, shocked. “It is?” He cocked his head to the side. “He doesn’t answer his phone for two days, and then he calls you?” There was something pointed in his tone, but Luke ignored it.  
  
“Yes, apparently he does. So will you stop freaking out?” He flipped open his cell and answered it with a sigh. “Noah, where are you? People are-”  
  
“Luke, I can’t really talk for long, I just need you to do something for me,” Noah’s voice probably sounded casual to the untrained ear, but Luke’s was trained. He knew Noah’s voice, probably knew it better than almost anyone. And something was wrong.  
  
“Okay. What’s up?” Luke tried to stay casual too, but his face must have given something away, because Casey frowned and stepped closer.  
  
“Can you just tell Ali I won’t be at the apartment for a few days? I’m staying with some friends for a bit, and I don’t want her to worry.”   
  
If his voice hadn’t sounded so strained, Luke would have been pissed that Noah was calling him just to pass a message along to Alison. But there was something in Noah’s voice, Luke could tell. The last time he had heard that tone… when was it? “Yeah, I’ll tell her. What friends?” he had to ask.  
  
“Oh, um,” Noah cleared his throat awkwardly. “A couple friends from some classes from last year. I don’t think you met them, the ones I went to Lisbon with?”  
  
Luke froze. Lisbon. That’s the last time he’d heard Noah used this tone of voice. When he had been kidnapped. When someone had pointed a gun at him and made him call Luke to throw him off… Oh God, oh no. No, no, no. “Noah,” he spoke carefully, hoping his own voice wasn’t shaking. “Is someone listening to you right now?” Casey’s eyes went wide, and he grabbed Luke’s arm. Luke couldn’t even feel it.  
  
There was the tiniest of hesitations. “Yeah,” Noah was still going for casual, and Luke really hoped it was working. For Noah’s sake.  
  
He tried to work in enough oxygen to keep speaking. “Are you… are you okay?”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, fine. What else?” Noah was stalling, giving Luke a chance to keep talking without whoever was with him knowing that Noah was giving anything away.  
  
“Do you know where you are, are you in Oakdale?” He’d been missing for two days, he could be anywhere…  
  
“I think so, that sounds about right,” Noah laughed, and anyone else would’ve thought it was real.   
  
But again, Luke knew better. Noah was pretty sure he was still in town, but he didn’t know exactly where. His heart pounded in his chest, and pressure started building all around him. What the hell could he do? He needed to ask some question that Noah could answer, that could tell Luke exactly how to save him. “Is…” and then a thought came to him. Lisbon. “Is it Zac and Zoe? Are they…?”  
  
“No, nothing like that,” Noah cleared his throat again. He was nervous. No, Luke corrected himself, he was scared. And that made Luke more than a little scared. “It was just that  _one_ time, remember?”  
  
“One time. One?” Luke tried to puzzle it out. “One. One what? One person? It’s just one person?”  
  
“Yeah,” Noah sounded just a little relieved there, a hint of a smile in his voice as Luke broke his ‘code.’  
  
Luke would have smiled too, if not for the fact that, you know, Noah was being held hostage and all. “Okay. One person, you’re in Oakdale somewhere, and you’re, uh, relatively okay. Noah…” he racked his brain for another question, something Noah could answer. “It’s not Zac or Zoe, but… do you know this person? Do you know who it is?”  
  
There was a beat of silence before Noah answered. “Yeah, yeah, you too.”  
  
Luke’s frown deepened, his heart leaping into his throat. “You know them, and… and I know them too. Okay…” He sucked in a breath, hoping Noah couldn’t hear how scared he was. Like he could he hear how scared Noah was. “Can-”  
  
“Look, Luke, I have to go. I’ll, um, I’ll talk to you later, okay? Just give Ali the message for me?” The fear was more obvious now, mirroring Luke’s own.  
  
“Noah, I’m going straight to the cops right now. Casey’s with me. We’ll go talk to Margo a-and Jack, and we’ll figure this out. It’s going to be okay, I promise.” He bit his lip when Noah didn’t respond. “Noah?”  
  
“Yeah,” Noah finally spoke. “Luke, um, same here, okay?”  
  
There weren’t tears in his eyes, there weren’t. Noah was  _not_  giving him the ‘I love you, just in case’ thing. No, he wasn’t allowed to. “We’ll figure this out, I promise,” was all he could say. Why didn’t he just say ‘I love you’ back?  
  
“Okay, bye.” The hang up was quick, abrupt, and Luke almost flinched from it.  
  
“Luke, what the  _hell_  is going on?” Casey couldn’t wait any longer. Luke stared at him for a moment, numbly flipping his phone shut and dropping it into his pocket. Casey shook his arm, impatient. “Luke?”  
  
He opened his mouth, closed it again, swallowed hard and tried again. “We have to go see your mom,” he finally answered weakly. And then he uttered the three words he had said before but had hoped he’d never have to say again. “Noah’s in trouble.”  
  
************  
  
 _…Tuesday…_  
  
Holden raised a hand and forced himself to knock without hesitating. He really didn’t want to have this conversation, and he really hoped that maybe just maybe Lily wasn’t home-  
  
Lily opened the door with a surprised smile. “Holden, hi! What are you doing here?”  
  
He smiled back painfully. “Can I come in? I need to tell you something.”  
  
Her smile slid away, replaced by a worried frown. “Sure, of course.” She stepped back, allowing him into the family room. Following him over to the couch, she clasped her hands in her lap as they both sat down. “Is something wrong? Is it Faith, or-?”  
  
He shook his head. “No. It’s Noah.”  
  
Her frown deepened. “Noah?” she repeated, confused and panicked. “What’s wrong with Noah? Is it his eyes? Did something happen?”  
  
Holden tried to look as calm and reassuring as possible. He knew how much she loved Noah, knew this was going to be hard. “I’ve just spent most of the night at the police station with Luke, Margo, and Jack. Noah was… Noah was kidnapped two nights ago.”  
  
“What?” she gasped. “No, God… who, who would… is he…?”  
  
Instinctively, he took her hand, squeezed it gently. “We don’t know much. Noah had been missing for a few days, and he called Luke yesterday. Margo and Jack are pretty sure the kidnapper wanted Noah to call him to try to keep people from getting suspicious.”  
  
She was shaking her head, tears in her eyes. Not letting go of his hand. “Then how did Luke know?”  
  
He couldn’t help but smile. “Because luckily those two know each other better than most. Noah dropped some hints and Luke picked up on them.” They shared the smile before Holden continued. “We don’t know much at this point, but we know he’s alive and he’s somewhere in Oakdale.”  
  
“His father!” Lily burst out. “What if Colonel Mayer-?”  
  
He cut her off with a quick shake of his head. “That’s the first thing Jack checked. The Colonel’s still in prison. So are those two kids who kidnapped him and Luke last year, and so is Damian.”  
  
Her head shot up. “You don’t actually think Damian would do this, do you?” Her expression was somewhere between pained and expectant.  
  
Holden blew out a breath slowly. “We just wanted to check everything. According to Noah, both he and Luke know this person.” Softening his voice, “It was Luke’s suggestion to check on Damian. I’m not trying to start anything, Lily. I promise.”  
  
“Okay.” She nodded, appearing calm even though her hands were shaking. “Okay. Jack and Margo, they’re working on it?”  
  
“Yeah, they’ve got procedures for these types of situations. We may have to wait for Noah or whoever has him to contact us again, but they know what they’re doing,” he tried to reassure her, even though in the back of his head he was thinking of all the other times someone he knew had been kidnapped. And how  _those_  situations had worked out.  
  
Lily was obviously thinking the same. Then she looked up sharply. “And Luke? Is he okay, where is he?”  
  
A quick sigh. “He’s still at the station, pestering Jack. He’s… he’s okay. Worried, of course.”  
  
“Of course.” Another shared smile, this one a little sadder. “He’s still in love with Noah.”  
  
“Of course,” Holden said again.  
  
Lily looked down at her lap, blinking back tears. “If anything happens to him-”  
  
“Hey, hey,” Holden moved in closer. “Noah’s going to be fine, okay? He is.” He made sure to catch her gaze and hold it. “They’ll find him. And he and Luke will work things out and find their way back, I know it.”  
  
She smiled softly at his certainty. “I know it too,” she half-whispered.  
  
He nodded. “Some people are just meant to be together. At the end of the day, they find their way back to each other.”  
  
“Because they love each other that much,” Lily added.  
  
They looked at each other for a moment before thoughts of Noah shook Holden out of his trance. “Anyway,” he looked down and away for a second. “I thought you should know what’s going on.” Offering another smile, “You are Noah’s former mother, after all.”  
  
She tried to laugh, but not much came out. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “I’ll get to the station as soon as possible, make sure Luke’s okay.”  
  
He nodded, standing up and making his way to the door. “I’ll probably see you there.”  
  
He had just opened the door and stepped through when she called out to him. “Holden?”  
  
He turned back, looking into her eyes, unable to read the expression there. “Yeah?”  
  
She opened her mouth, then slowly shut it with a shake of her head. “Nothing, never mind.” Another little smile. “Thank you, again.”  
  
“Lily,” he spoke firmly, echoing the same words he’d been telling Luke all night. “They’re going to find Noah. Everything’ll be fine, I promise.”  
  
************  
  
Noah’s head was swimming, and only partly from whatever he’d been drugged with. How long had he been here, in this room, tied to this chair? He was pretty sure it had been about a day since he had been forced to call Luke. It had only been a day, right? But then how many days had he been here before then?  
  
And that was only part of the reason his head hurt. He couldn’t believe this was happening, that he had actually been kidnapped by-  
  
“Noah.” He was back, somehow managing to sneak up on him yet again.  
  
Noah forced his head up to glare at him. “Screw you,” he managed to growl.  
  
A laugh. “Well, that’s eloquent.” When Noah gave no response, he chuckled again. “Fine, be that way. If you don’t want to talk, you don’t have to. You could always go back to sleep, I guess.”  
  
Noah rolled his eyes as the footsteps echoed, walking around behind him. “I’m not drinking your damn water, so if you don’t like that, I guess  _you_  could always go fu-” The not-so-polite phrase he was about to use was cut off when a cloth was slapped harshly across his mouth. He grunted angrily, trying to shake his head free, but his strength wasn’t really up to that. And no wonder, since the cloth was laced with whatever that drug was, and Noah only had a few seconds to come up with several more not-so-polite phrases before he felt himself passing out again.   
  
Just as the darkness started closing in, a thought popped into Noah’s head- if this was how he was being treated, he was terrified of what might happen if or when his captor went after Luke.  
  
************  
  
 _…Wednesday…_  
  
Ali stood outside of Java, biting on her thumbnail. It was a habit she had tried time and time again to break, but it never worked. Especially when she was tired, or stressed, or, you know, _scared out of her mind_.   
  
Ever since she had moved in with Noah, she had felt this need to look after him. Even though he didn’t necessarily need it (and definitely wouldn’t have wanted it) she liked helping him, blind or not. She’d never really been that person before, the one that someone could turn to for strength. She was pretty sure it had been a balance good for the both of them; she learned to put others before herself, he learned to ask for help.   
  
And while he didn’t always make it easy to help him, she’d really grown to love him. It was never hard to talk to him, he always listened, and he never took anything for granted. They had bonded surprisingly quickly, and he had become more than just a friend or roommate. Between him and Hunter, she felt like life had handed her two little brothers in a short amount of time. And she didn’t want to lose one of them now.  
  
“Hey,” Casey said quietly from just beyond her shoulder.  
  
She turned to look at him and smiled tentatively. “Hi.” Turning back, she nodded at the door to Java. “I can’t get myself to go in.”  
  
“Feels weird?” he guessed. She nodded, and he let out a little sigh. “Me too.”  
  
By unspoken agreement, they turned and walked back through Old Town, finally pausing to stand by the bench near Al’s. “Any news?” she finally asked.  
  
“Nope,” he ran his hand along the back of the bench. “My mom’s out, like, canvassing the town today. Jack’s at the station with Luke, his parents have been in and out of there all day.”  
  
Ali nodded absentmindedly. “Are they all… how are they taking it?”  
  
“Okay, I guess,” Casey shrugged. “Lily’s really upset and not doing a very good job of hiding it. Luke and Holden are better at that part, I think.” He looked her over almost nervously. “How are you? I saw Hunter this morning, he said he spent the night at your place.”  
  
It was her turn to shrug. “I don’t like being in that apartment alone. You know, I didn’t realize when Noah and I first started living together that I’d care about him this much. But he really means a lot to me, Casey. He was the one who pretty much convinced me to stay here and not move to Chicago.”  
  
Casey sort of half-smiled. “I thought Chris did that.”  
  
“No,” she took a step closer urgently. “Chris and I… what you saw was a one time thing. We were just both feeling lonely that night.”  
  
“You weren’t the only ones,” he mumbled.  
  
She put her hand on his arm. “Casey, neither Chris or I meant for that to happen, or even wanted it to happen. And it hasn’t happened since. I really do hate that it upset you. You and I weren’t meant to be, we both know that, but no matter what I’m always going to care about you. You’re such a good person, and I never meant to hurt you.” A sardonic smile. “Despite all evidence to the contrary there.”  
  
He smiled back, only slightly painful. “I know, I know. That’s kinda what sucks the most about all of it, isn’t it?” He crossed his arms, leaning back a bit. “I have an idea. Since we’re both too chicken to go to Java, how about we go get some coffee at Al’s then head over to work?”  
  
“Sounds good,” she answered, relieved.  
  
As they walked side by side, Casey nudged her with his shoulder. “Look at us, all getting along and stuff. Noah would be so proud.”  
  
Ali laughed a little, nodding. She was kinda proud too. And she really really hoped she’d get the chance to tell Noah about this soon.  
  
************

  
When his cell rang again, Noah’s name flashing across the screen, Luke almost dropped it on the floor. “It’s Noah,” he said needlessly to the room.  
  
Jack held out his hand, determined. “Give it to me.” When Luke hesitated, Jack squared his shoulders. “Luke, come on. Let me talk to him.” Luke passed the phone over and sank into a chair, Holden right next to him. Jack took a calming breath and flipped it open. “Noah?”  
  
There was a pause on the other end. “Hey, Luke.” Noah knew this wasn’t Luke.  
  
Jack almost smiled at that. “It’s Jack. Luke told me everything, and we’re already trying to find you, alright? Are you okay, are you hurt anywhere?” He wasn’t sure if Noah would tell him the truth, but he had to ask.  
  
“Yeah, no, it’s fine. Uh, how’s your cousin? He hasn’t done anything stupid lately, has he?” Noah stumbled around the question, and Jack hoped whoever was listening didn’t realize what was going on.  
  
He thought about the question and had to laugh. Locking eyes with Luke, he answered. “Luke’s fine. He’s right here.” As Luke’s eyes widened, so did Jack’s smile. “And no, he hasn’t done anything stupid. I’ll keep my eye on him, don’t worry.” Luke turned indignant eyes on Holden, who was trying to stifle his own laugh. “We’re all worried about you, Noah. Can you give me anything, any idea of where you are or who it is that-?” There was noise on the other end of phone, movement and muffled words. “Noah?” The air around him grew tense again as Jack frowned. “Noah, what’s going on? Can you talk to me?”  
  
“Yeah.” His voice was softer and, Jack hated to think, he sounded like he was in pain. “I, um…” there was more muffled words. Jack strained but couldn’t make out what the voice was saying. “Jack?”  
  
Jack closed his eyes. If Noah was saying his name, his kidnapper knew what was going on. Knew that Noah had been lying. Damn it. “Yeah, Noah, I’m here.”  
  
“He wants to talk to Luke.” Noah’s voice was shaking now, pretense of calm gone.  
  
He winced, hating that their one way of trying to help Noah was gone. Hating that whoever this guy was, he still had the upper hand. He waved a hand, beckoning Luke closer. His cousin shot over, already reaching for the phone without even knowing why. “Okay Noah, I’m handing it over. Stay strong kid, we’ll find you.” He held the phone out to Luke, holding his gaze. “The guy wants to talk to you, Luke. Be careful. Listen for anything in the background or anything he says that could give us a clue as to where they are.”  
  
Luke nodded stiffly, nerves outweighing his eagerness now. He put the phone to his ear with a shaking hand. “Hello? It’s Luke.” There was silence on the other end. Luke swallowed hard. “Noah?”  
  
And then someone started speaking. “You know, I think it’s the height of irony that, after all that trouble you and your daddy went through to keep me away from your boyfriend, I come back to find that you two aren’t even together anymore.”  
  
The world slowed down to nothing around Luke. If there were people around him, if there were walls around him, if there was air to breathe, he was oblivious. No. Way. It couldn’t be him. “What- what are you…” he took a deep breath, reminding himself of what was at stake. “What the hell have you done? Why?” His sharp tone caused Jack and Holden to move closer  
  
“Temper, temper. That kind of attitude can get a person in trouble, Luke.” He could hear Mason’s smarmy grin over the phone, and it made him want to tear his hair out. “And I’m not talking about you.”  
  
He gripped the phone tighter, shaking from a different emotion now. “Don’t you dare hurt him, Mason. I swear to God, if you-” Jack just looked confused now, but Holden’s eyes were narrowing in recognition, and he grabbed a piece of paper, scribbling down a name and showing it to Jack.  
  
“Why do you care?” Mason really seemed to be enjoying the taunting. “He’s not even your boyfriend anymore. In fact, it looks to me like you’ve got a new one and left poor Noah in the dust.”  
  
Jack took the piece of paper from Holden and hurried out of the room. Luke watched him leave but kept his focus on the phone. “What, have you been spying on us or something?” he couldn’t help but spit out.  
  
“Just reeducating myself. I wanted to see how my… favorite student was doing.” There was a muffled noise in the background, one that sounded way too much like Noah for Luke’s comfort. “He looks a lot better than he did the last time I was in town. Though I guess you don’t agree, since you’ve found someone better.”  
  
“Bastard,” Luke muttered. Trying to center himself again, “Why are you doing this? What do you want?”  
  
“Do you know how hard it is to get through life when you’ve got ‘sexual misconduct with a student’ on your record? Not many people want to hire a professor after that.” Mason’s voice dropped the smirky vibe and grew tight, angry. “You took my life away from me. Everything was going the way I wanted, everything was fine. Then you and Al Capone step in and I lose _everything_. I’m just taking some of it back now.”  
  
Another sound in the background from Noah, and Luke felt like echoing it. He tried to keep calm. “Noah was never yours, Mason. You think kidnapping him is going to make anything better?”  
  
“I certainly feel better.”  
  
Luke’s empty hand had clenched into a fist, but he had nothing to punch. He had a really satisfying flash of breaking Mason’s nose, and planned on his jaw this time. That way the smug son of a bitch wouldn’t be able to talk. “What do you want, then? What’s it going to take for you to let Noah go?”  
  
Mason hummed, pretending to think it over. “Who says I plan on letting him go?”  
  
"Then why are you calling me?” Luke was probably shouting now, judging by the expression on his dad’s face.  
  
“At the moment?” He could almost hear Mason’s casual shrug over the phone. “I just wanted you to know that I have Noah and you have no idea where he is. I want you to know what it’s like to be powerless. I want you to suffer the consequences of your actions, for once in your miserable, spoiled life.”  
  
Luke had passed rage about six stops ago. Suffer the consequences  _for once_? “You know nothing about my life,” he hissed out. “And you know nothing about Noah. He’s not yours. You never got it, that he wasn’t interested in you, that he never even looked at you the way he looked at me.” He winced as he said that, not wanting to goad Mason into doing something stupid.   
  
A deep, dark chuckle. “And now he doesn’t look at you at all. How does that feel, Luke? I guess not that horrible, since you and your new lover are going at it all over town.”   
  
Luke could hear Noah in the background again, angry but stifled. It brought Luke’s focus back to where it needed to be. “Look, I’m going to ask again,” he calmed himself down as much as possible. “Please, just tell me. What do you want?” God, he hated saying ‘please’ right now.  
  
There was a pause for a moment, a shuffling sound as Mason moved around somewhere. Luke remembered Jack’s words, but try as he might he couldn’t hear anything in the background that told him where they were. “Like I said, I just want you to know that I have something that you want. I want you to know how that feels.”  
  
Luke’s eyes narrowed, somewhere between irritated and confused, but before he could produce any sort of comeback there was more movement and then Noah’s voice exclaiming angrily, “Don’t touch me!”   
  
“Noah!” Luke cried out, just as angry. He felt Holden put a hand on his shoulder, but he shook himself free, his feet beginning to pace. “Don’t hurt him, or I promise to you, I’ll-”  
  
“I think we’re done for now, Mr. Snyder-Grimaldi-Whatever,” Mason was back on the phone, definitely smirking again. “Stay near your phone, you’ll be hearing from me again.”  
  
And then there was nothing but silence. “Damn it!” Luke yelled out, a half second away from throwing his phone against the wall until he remembered how much he needed it. Instead he took his frustrations out on a chair, kicking it across the room.  
  
“Luke…” Holden said quietly from somewhere behind him.   
  
“Don’t.” Luke couldn’t turn around, couldn’t turn around and face the concern right now, the empty platitudes. He couldn’t turn around and show his fear, his guilt. Not only had Mason taken Noah to get back at Luke, but he had been able to grab Noah in the first place because of him. Because Luke hadn’t been there.  
  
Holden was standing right next to him now. “Jack’s running the name. He’ll get records and license plate tags and phone bills and all that. We’ll put this guy’s picture out everywhere. I’ll get Molly, Lucinda… Hell, I’ll get Dusty involved if I have to, Luke. We won’t let anything happen to Noah.”  
  
Luke just nodded, chewing on his lower lip anxiously. Last time Mason had been in town, he had been a part of the events that led to the end of his relationship with Noah. Luke wasn’t about to let the same thing happen this time. Screw this, Mason wasn’t going to win. Luke was prepared to do anything to keep Noah from being taken away from him again.  
 


	3. The Price On His Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He told me last week that he was still in love with me, and _I didn’t say anything back._ And now he’s gone. If something happens…”

_ …Wednesday… _ _ _

__ Noah glared up at Mason as the man continued walking towards him, still on the phone. Talking to Luke. “Like I said, I just want you to know that I have something that you want. I want you to know how that feels.”

_ Luke doesn’t want me _ , Noah argued silently. _ Not anymore. You’re two months too late _ . Mason had no idea how screwed up his evil scheme was going to get. Noah was willing to bet that not too many people paid a ransom or whatever for an ex-boyfriend. If he really wanted revenge or money, he should have kidnapped Dr. Oliver.

Noah was shaken out of his thoughts when Mason put a hand on his arm, running it up to his shoulder. “Don’t touch me!” he couldn’t help but snap loudly.

Mason took a step back with a smirk, and Noah almost thought he could hear Luke yelling over the phone. Mason turned his attention back to it. “I think we’re done for now, Mr. Snyder-Grimaldi-Whatever. Stay near your phone, you’ll be hearing from me again.” He hung up and tucked his cell back into his jacket, grinning like he’d won something.

“Touch me again and I’ll kill you,” Noah growled, unable to look at the insufferable bastard anymore. Instead he glanced around at his surroundings yet again. It was a nondescript bedroom in a nondescript house somewhere. The only reason he knew he was still in Oakdale was because he could see the Worldwide building through the one window.

Mason leaned back against the dresser with a chuckle. “I seem to recall you being a lot more polite six months ago.”

“I was a lot less kidnapped back then too,” Noah snapped.

Another laugh. “Well, looks like someone gets a little sarcastic when they’re cranky.”

“What the hell are you doing, Mason?” Noah was getting tired of the attitude. “What is this supposed to accomplish? You want your job back, you want money, what?”

Mason stayed where he was. “I want to win.”

“Win what?” Noah persisted, eyes narrowed, confused and angry. He tugged again at the bonds around his wrists, working to loosen them even a little. If he could get just a little bit of room to work with, he was sure he could undo these knots. Mason was a former film professor, and probably not an expert at rope-tying. He didn’t see Mason as much of an outdoorsman; camping would be too harsh on the scarf and blazer. “What are you trying to win?”

“Does it matter?” he shrugged.

Noah shook his head. “If all you want is revenge for getting fired, why do you even need me?”

Mason gave him a pointed look, crossing his arms. “Who says that’s all I want?”

Noah stared for a moment. “Me? You want… you want me?” He shook his head again. Even after everything Luke had said about Mason last fall- and Noah had believed him- a part of Noah never really understood it. Especially now. “You know, I know people who kidnap other people aren’t generally sane, but… _ are you out of your friggin’ mind _ ?”

Mason laughed. “Come on, Noah. You can’t be that shocked that someone besides Luke could find you attractive.”

Noah ignored that statement in favor of a more pressing issue. “And you thought ‘abduction’ was a good way to express yourself?” he asked incredulously.

“I work with what I’m given,” the man answered airily.

He narrowed his eyes. “Hate to disappoint you,” he began, “But I wasn’t interested in you then, and I’m not interested in you now.” The ropes were the slightest bit looser now, Noah could feel it, and he fought against letting the hope show on his face.

“Don’t tell me you’re still holding out for Luke,” his former teacher looked him over, pitying. “I think that ship has sailed, buddy. It’s time to move on.”

_ I know, but I can’t _ , Noah said silently. Out loud, “I really don’t think I want to take relationship advice from you, thanks. Even before you decided to be all buckets of crazy, you didn’t exactly have it together in that department.”

Mason just nodded a little, and then in one fluid motion stepped forward and backhanded Noah across the face. It was the same strike and same place that he had hit Noah before, when he realized Noah was talking to Jack and not Luke. “Yeah, because you have it so much more together,” he said, voice calmer than his actions.

Noah blinked hard, trying to clear his vision. He wasn’t sure if it was blurry from the hit or just because of his eyes. He didn’t know how long he’d been here, but a few days without wearing his now doctor-recommended glasses always left things a little cloudy. After a moment, his fingers twisting around the ropes and knots, finding just a little bit more give in them this time, he sent another glare at Mason. “Even if Luke completely ditched me and ran me out of town, I still wouldn’t want to have anything to do with you.”

“Even if Luke completely ditched you and hooked up with your doctor, while you were still blind? Even if he kept that relationship a secret after you got your sight back, letting you find out he was sleeping with someone new by seeing them together?”

Noah swallowed back the twinge in his throat that came whenever he thought of Luke sleeping with Dr. Oliver, of Luke being in love with someone else. How did Mason know all of this? How long had he been in town, spying on all of them? “Even then,” he said around gritted teeth. Just a little bit more and those knots would be loose…

Mason was standing in front of him again. “Maybe you just need to know what you’ve been missing.” And with that he reached for Noah again, leaning closer.

Oh hell no. So much for strategy and biding his time. The final knot on the ropes broke at just that moment, and Noah instinctively shoved Mason away, throwing a punch of his own. He connected with his jaw, and the part of brain not focused on escaping really hoped he broke it. Anything to shut the guy up.

Mason fell back roughly, and Noah took the opportunity to make a dash for the open doorway. He stumbled on sore, weakened legs but refused to slow down. Strained muscles were definitely preferable to spending another minute in the same room as-

He wasn’t fast enough. There was the sound of footsteps behind him, and then just as Noah reached the stairs something heavy and unforgiving crashed into his back and side. He couldn’t help but let out a cry of pain as he dropped to the floor, his head cracking violently with the plaster molding that ran along between the wood and the wall. Wooden shards and splinters fell around him, and Noah fuzzily realized that he’d been hit with a chair. Probably the same chair he’d been tied to.

He tried to get his hands under him and push himself up, but the pain was too much. He crashed back down with a groan, closing his eyes. He felt Mason approach him, grab his arms, and drag him back into the room. “Almost a good try,” he commented, though his voice sounded a little strained too. Noah was still hoping for at least a bruised jaw out of that. He would’ve opened his eyes to check, but he couldn’t get them to cooperate. Mason kept talking, something about needing something stronger than rope, but Noah was done caring for the moment, letting himself drift back into unawareness.

************

_ …Thursday… _

Luke barely glanced up when his mom set a cup of coffee down in front of him. He was too busy trying to get his Jedi mind powers to make the phone ring. It had been almost a full day since he had talked to Mason. It had been almost five full days since Noah had disappeared. Five days.

He numbly took a sip of the coffee, recognizing immediately that it was from Al’s and not from Java. For which he was very, very grateful. Something like that was bound to send him over the edge right now. Hell, thinking about Noah at all was enough to make him crack. Noah, who was in God-knows-what condition, was being held somewhere because of him. Because of Luke-

“Have you eaten anything yet, sweetie?” Lily’s voice broke through the beginnings of the guilt trip Luke had started himself on.

He glanced at his watch, wondering if it was too late for breakfast. And then saw that it was almost four in the afternoon. Oh. He shook his head, swallowing down more coffee. “Not hungry.”

A grilled cheese sandwich was dropped in front of him next. “Yes you are, you just don’t know it. Eat.” Lily kissed the top of his head and sat down next to him.

Luke stared at the sandwich, biting his lower lip hard. When he was little and too sick to go to school, his mom would always make him a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch while they curled up and watched _ The Price Is Right _ . It was a Snyder family tradition. Comfort food at its best.

It was also a tradition he had tried to pass on to Noah, making them for him on those rare occasions when Noah admitted to being sick. And bless his heart, Noah would always eat them, no matter how burned the sandwiches got. And he always watched _ The Price Is Right _ , even though Bob Barker gave him the creeps (Noah tried to keep that a secret, but Luke knew). _ Noah… _

“What if I never see him again?” he found himself whispering, still looking at the grilled cheese.

His mom’s hand was on his back, rubbing softly. “Honey, you can’t think like that.” It would have been much more convincing if her own voice hadn’t been wobbling as she spoke.

He shook his head a little frantically. “What if something happens to him and he never knows that I… I still- that I’m… _ God _ !” he stood up, pacing around the interrogation room yet again.

“He knows you love him,” Lily tried.

“No,” he said stubbornly. “He thinks I used to love him, but don’t anymore. He thinks I’ve moved on and left him behind. He thinks-”

Lily stood up, put her hands on his shoulders. “You don’t know that. He has to know that you still love each other. That kind of love doesn’t just go away, I’m sure he understands that.”

“Mom,” his voice dropped to just above a whisper, agonized. “He told me last week that he was still in love with me, and _ I didn’t say anything back _ . And now he’s gone. If something happens…”

She pulled him in close, wrapping both arms around him. “It’s going to be okay, we’ll get him back. We’ll get him back.”

He buried his face in her shoulder, forcing himself not to shudder. It was on the tip of his tongue to protest- there was no way she could know that- but the ringing of his cell phone interrupted him. They both tensed automatically, and Luke let go of his mother to dive for his phone still sitting on the table.

“Is it him? Is it Noah?” Lily was frantic behind him, already moving to the door to call in Jack or Margo.

“No.” Luke let the air out of his lungs with a disappointed _ whoosh _ and sat back down in front of his grilled cheese. He sent the call to voicemail and contemplated actually taking a bite.

Lily quietly sat back down next to him, clasping her hands nervously. “Who was it?”

“No one,” Luke mumbled, hoping she would leave it at that. Of course, by saying it that way they both knew who it was. Reid. Luke’s head and heart and chest were too heavy to deal with him, it, everything at the moment. Plus he’d have to explain to Reid everything that was going on, and that just seemed impossible at the moment.

“Okay.” Luckily his mother understood, or at least pretended to. All she did was push the sandwich closer to him, eyeing him sternly until he started eating.

He was halfway through when his phone rang again. Expecting it to be Reid, Luke reluctantly picked it up and glanced at the screen. And then dropped his sandwich on the floor. “Mom, go get Jack.”

He didn’t wait for her, just flipped his phone open and answered (hopefully and probably naively), “Noah?”

“Luke.” It wasn’t Noah. Mason drew his name out slowly, taunting. “How’s your boyfriend?”

“Let me talk to Noah,” Luke demanded, ignoring the jab.

“Excuse me?”

“Let me talk to Noah. Please,” he spoke through a tightly clenched jaw. It absolutely killed him to beg this guy.

“Eh, sorry, can’t do that.” He could hear Mason moving around, wherever he was. But he couldn’t hear Noah in the background like last time, and that scared him. “Noah’s not really able to talk at the moment.”

His eyes closed involuntarily. “Why not?” he couldn’t stop himself from asking.

“Hmmm…” Mason took his time in answering. “I’m trying to come up with the best teacher-student metaphor. He’s in a time-out? In detention? He’s being taught a lesson? None of those sound very clever out loud, do they?”

Luke gripped the edge of the table so hard it hurt. “At least, at least just tell me that he’s okay?” his voice cracked a little, and he desperately hoped Mason couldn’t hear that over the connection.

He must not have, because Luke was sure he would’ve exploited it if he had. “He’s okay. Okay? Happy?”

“Ecstatic,” he grunted. “Is that why you’re calling me this time? To make me feel as crappy and helpless as possible?”

“In a manner of speaking? Yes.”

Oh, he could tell the smirk was back, and Luke really wished he had those Jedi powers again and could crush Mason’s windpipe with his brain. “What’s it going to take? To end this. Do you want me to meet you somewhere, mock me in person? Do you want me to give you money? Change places with Noah? What? I’ll do it. Just tell me.”

“Luke!” Lily gasped softly next to him. Luke hadn’t even realized she and Jack had come back into the room, but they were both staring at him worriedly. He ignored them both. There wasn’t much he wasn’t willing to do to keep Noah safe.

“Really?” Mason sounded fascinated. “You’d do that? You’d really pay some sort of ransom for Noah?”

“Yes,” he said firmly. “How much do you want? My whole inheritance, a trust fund, whatever it takes.”

“You’d give me all your money?” Mason asked again, taken aback. “The whole Grimaldi fortune?”

“The whole Grimaldi fortune,” Luke repeated, insisting. He turned wide, hopeful eyes towards his mom. She was already pulling out her own phone, ready to make whatever calls needed to be made. “I’ll do it! That’s enough money to buy your own private island and build your own damn university on it. Where and when do I get you the money?”

“You don’t.” Mason’s voice dropped to a dark, flat tone. “I don’t want your damn money.”

Luke flinched as though he’d been punched in the stomach. “What?”

“You think this is about money?” Mason sneered. “Wait, of course you do. You haven’t changed at all, have you Luke? You think your money and your stature can solve any problem. You think you can buy your way through life.” He sighed. “It’s sad, really.”

Luke was surprised he hadn’t crushed his cell phone in his grip. “You… you son of a bitch, I should-”

“When Noah wakes up, I’ll have to let him know his ex tried to put a price on his head, thought that would fix everything. Looks like Noah isn’t the only one who needs to be taught a lesson, huh, Luke?” And with that, Mason hung up before Luke had a chance to respond.

************   


“Mr. Snyder?”

Holden snapped himself out of the daze he’d been in for most of the last hour. “Casey, hi. What are you doing here?”

Casey smiled painfully, holding up a takeout bag from Al’s. “Came to drop off some dinner for my mom, for when she gets back.” He sat down tentatively next to him. Judging by the look on his face, Holden guessed that Margo had filled him in on the latest phone call. Casey looked around the mostly empty police station. “Where’s Luke?”

“Lily took him back to the house about an hour ago. They both needed some rest, some decent food,” Holden cleared his throat, wincing at the hoarseness in his voice. “Your mom and Jack are out on some lead or another. I’m not too sure on the details.”

Casey nodded, pulling out a burger and a carton of fries from the bag. “Is… is Luke okay? And Mrs. Snyder? Alison said she was taking it really hard.”

Holden tried to smile. “We’re all taking it hard. That last phone call, whatever Mason said to Luke… it left them really shaken up. But I still have to think that things will work out okay.” A pointed look at Casey. “You should too.”

He nodded. “I do.” He pulled another burger out of the bag, eyed his mom’s empty desk, and then offered it to Holden. “That’s what I keep telling Alison.”

Holden took the burger with a more genuine smile. “So you and Alison seem to be getting along again.”

Casey shrugged. “I guess. I mean, I know I’ll never feel about her the way I used to, but I know I’ll never stop feeling _ something _ . I guess I’d rather that than nothing at all.”

“Sounds about right,” Holden took a bite. “It’s how I feel about Lily. Seeing her with Luke and our kids, seeing how much she cares about Noah, that’s the Lily I fell in love with. But too much hurt has happened between us for us to go back to where we were.”

“Do you think you’ll ever get back together with her?”

Holden thought about it. “I guess it’s always possible. But there’s just as much a chance that we’ll never get back together, or we will and split up again. I’m not sure what’s the best option there.” He ate a few fries. “We’re both happy where we are now, that’s all we can ask for.”

Casey was quiet for a few minutes, both of them eating their burgers and thinking about the past. Then he sent a sidelong glance at Holden. “Does Luke or Lily know that you and Molly have lunch with Noah once a week?”

Holden almost choked on his burger. “How did you know?”

“Noah told me,” Casey grinned a little.

He shook his head. “Honestly, no. I haven’t told either of them. Lily isn’t Molly’s biggest fan, and if she reacts to this even half as bad as she did when Molly bonded with Faith… neither Noah or Molly need to feel guilty about it.” He sighed a little. “And just knowing Luke and how he’d react…”

“Yeah,” Casey laughed. “I kinda figured.”

Holden smiled again, he had half-expected Casey to take Luke’s side on this. “Besides, I made a promise to Noah awhile ago that he’d always be a part of the family, even if he and Luke aren’t together. Especially now after the surgeries and everything, I can’t abandon him.”

“Like we did the last couple times they broke up…” Casey mused quietly. At Holden’s questioning look, he tried to explain. “When they were apart before, after the election and after that New Year’s, we all kinda stuck to Luke and were there for him, but not for Noah. Looking back on all that now, I guess I feel kinda guilty.”

“Really?” Holden watched the young man, a little surprised.

Casey nodded, looking embarrassed. “I’ve been trying to make up for it, and I know Ali has too. She and Hunter have pretty much taken him into the Stewart family, and Chris and I hang out with him some, and with you and Molly…” He offered up another smile. “It makes me feel better to think that even if he and Luke don’t get back together, at least Noah won’t be alone anymore.”

Holden stared at Casey again, impressed. He put a hand on Casey’s shoulder warmly, patting it. “Makes me feel better too.”

Casey was blushing a little now, but tried to shake it off. “I have to admit, I was a little surprised Noah didn’t leave town after finding out about Luke and the doctor-guy.”

Holden shook his head. “I’m sure it crossed his mind, but no, he wouldn’t do that now. Noah’s grown up a bit in the past three years. And anyway,” he went back to something Casey had said earlier, “Luke and Noah will get back together. Of course they will.”

Casey smiled, but then the smile slowly dropped away from face. “Mr. Snyder?”

“Yeah, Casey?”

Casey fiddled with the label on his bottle of water, not looking at him. “Do you really think Noah’s going to be okay?”

_ I don’t know _ , was the first thing that came to mind. But Holden couldn’t say that to Casey, couldn’t say that to himself. He put his hand on Casey’s shoulder again. “I’m sure of it.”

************   
__

_ …Friday… _

Luke made his way to the nurse’s station, feeling jittery and tense. Not at all rested. His parents had pretty much forced him to spend the night at home, which Luke thought was stupid. If he had to choose between not sleeping in his bedroom and not sleeping at the police station, he’d take the police station. Even though it ended up not mattering, since Noah was still missing and Mason was still out there somewhere.

“Luke?” Alison was behind the counter, and she came around eagerly, nearly tripping in her haste. “What is it? Any news? Is he-?”

Luke hated having to shake his head and see her face fall. “He called again yesterday. Mason did. I tried to offer him money or me in exchange for Noah, but he said no.”

Ali put her hand to her mouth for a second, then pulled it away. “And Noah? Is he okay? Did you talk to him?”

He shook his head, the motion giving him a headache. “Mason said he wasn’t ‘able to talk at the moment.’ He’s okay,” he rushed to say when Alison’s eyes went wide. “Mason said he’s okay. He just wouldn’t let me talk to him.”

She sucked in a deep breath, glancing around a little before pulling Luke into the empty break room. “And you’re sure? You’re sure Mason hasn’t hurt him, wasn’t lying to you? What if Noah is…”

“Ali, he’s okay. He has to be.” Luke wanted to give her a hug, hold her hand, something, but he couldn’t get himself to do it. Things were awkward between them, had been since that lecture in the hospital hallway a few days earlier. He was pretty sure she blamed him for Noah’s disappearance as much as he himself did.

She took a step away from him, leaning back against her locker. “And he didn’t want money, a ransom or whatever?”

Luke shook his head again. “I think I kinda pissed him off when I offered it.”

“What?” her eyes flashed. “You made him mad? Luke, what if he takes that out on Noah? What if something happens now because, because-”

“Because of me?” Luke finished for her. “Something already _ has _ happened because of me. _ All _ of this happened because of me. You don’t need to yell, Ali. I know this is my fault.”

Her face softened. “I didn’t mean that,” she protested weakly. “I really didn’t.”

“I did,” he said, just as quietly.

“No, Luke,” she moved closer, put her hand on his arm. “I’m just so mad this is happening at all, and I’m mad that you and Noah aren’t together, and I’m mad that I can’t do anything about either. I don’t think this is your fault.” They both sat at the table, and Ali let out a sigh. “I haven’t slept at the apartment in four days.”

“What?” Luke looked over at her, confused.

She shrugged. “I’ve been staying with Hunter. I just hate being there all alone, you know? I hate waking up in the morning and not hearing him in the kitchen cooking breakfast and-”

“And listening to Motown,” Luke completed the sentence with a smile. He had almost forgotten about Noah’s morning rituals, it had been so long since the two of them shared a place and a routine together.

“Yeah,” Ali’s smile was just as fond. “He sings along to the same three songs every morning, and I’ve never had the heart to tell him that he gets the lyrics wrong.”

“Me either,” Luke’s smiled widened. “The Gladys Knight song, right?”

“Yes!” she said, rolling her eyes and grinning at the same time. “Every morning, and the poor guy never got the words right.” Then her smile faded quickly. “Gets the words right. God, I don’t want to talk in past-tense.”

Luke did take her hand this time. “He’ll be back soon. Him and his tone-deafness.”

She locked eyes with him. “It’s important that you remember that too, Luke.”

He nodded, biting his lip, eyes welling just a little bit with tears. “Ali… I’ve been thinking a lot the last couple days, and I think-”

The door swung open, and Luke quickly wiped at his face before looking up. And then froze. He hadn’t seen Reid in days, hadn’t really spoken to him except for a few quick, hurried voicemails back and forth. “Luke?” Reid looked at both of them, confused.

Luke pulled his hand free from Alison’s, standing up quickly. “Hey.”

Reid glanced at Alison, who was staring at Luke. “What are you doing here? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for days.” A smirk. “I was beginning to think you were avoiding me.” The added _ again _ was unspoken, thank God, or else Alison would have caught it.

“Oh, yeah, um, some stuff has happened-” his voice caught in his throat and he had to clear it. That fear of forever, of everything being real, of losing something important, was starting to creep up back in him. “Some stuff has happened, it’s kinda been taking up all my waking hours.”

“What kind of stuff?” Reid took a step closer, now looking concerned. “Anything I can help with?”

Luke shook his head. The fear was pretty much all-consuming again. If he told Reid the truth, Reid would leave him. Could he really handle losing Reid and Noah in the same couple of days? “Some… some family stuff. It’s okay.”

He had almost forgotten Alison was there until that moment. She stood up so fast her chair scraped loudly against the floor, and Luke cringed at the sound. And also at the look on her face. “I have to go,” she said shortly, biting off the words. She glared at Luke. “Let me know if there’s any news about your _ family _ .” And with that, she was gone.

Leaving Luke alone with Reid, who was studying him intently. “So. This has something to do with Noah, doesn’t it?” Luke couldn’t answer, just nodded instead. Reid sighed sadly. “I thought you were done running around at Noah’s beck and call.”

Luke looked up sharply. “It’s not like that. Not this time.”

Reid shook his head. “I just don’t understand why, yet again, you’re troubling yourself over some problem of Noah’s. I mean, Luke, you’re not-”

“It’s not like that,” he said again, more forcefully. “It’s the other way around. Noah’s in trouble because of a problem of mine.”

Reid cocked his head to the side, obviously confused. “What?”

Luke opened and closed his mouth a few times, unsure of how to explain. But he would have, or would have tried, if his cell phone hadn’t started ringing. Reid half-forgotten, Luke yanked his phone out of his pocket and flipped it open, heart racing. “Jack?”

“Luke, get to the station. Now.”

************   


Jack leaned against his desk, arms crossed, looking in at the interrogation room. He had never ever, since as long as he could remember, been a fan of waiting. Patience is a virtue, and Jack was not feeling particularly virtuous at the moment. He turned slightly when the door to the station opened. Speaking of impatient…

“What’s going on?” Luke asked, his haste making it sound like one long word. “What happened? Is Noah okay?” Jack nodded towards the interrogation room, and Luke spun around so quickly that he almost fell. And then he did drop into a chair when he saw what was going on. Margo was interrogating Mason. Mason, in handcuffs. In custody. Luke thought he might faint from relief. “Oh God, thank you.”

“Luke…” Jack’s voice didn’t sound nearly as relieved, and Luke couldn’t figure out why.

“Where’s Noah?” Luke looked around expectantly.

“Luke,” Jack said his name again. Luke finally turned to him, fearful. “We caught him this morning, outside a convenience store. The clerk behind the counter recognized him from the news and called us, we got there before he was out the door.”

“Where’s Noah?” he repeated, starting to get angry.

Jack almost hesitated before answering. “Mason was alone. We don’t know where he’s keeping Noah, and as far as I know he hasn’t said anything yet. Margo’s questioning him now, and- Luke!” He was already on his feet and halfway through the door to the interrogation room. “Luke!”

He had stormed his way in and lunged for Mason before he’d really even realized what he was doing. And if Jack and another uniformed officer hadn’t caught him, he might have managed to strangle him. “Where is he?”

“Luke!” Mason had the audacity to smile up at him. “I was wondering when you’d get here and throw a temper tantrum! Glad I wasn’t disappointed.”

Both Jack and the officer held Luke back. “Where the hell is he?” he yelled, done playing this game, done trying to banter back and forth with a maniac.

“Get him out of here!” Margo ordered. Mason just sat back, still smiling. If his hands hadn’t been cuffed he probably would have waved.

“No!” Luke protested, pulling madly against the arms restraining him. “No! Tell me where he is!” He probably kept yelling as they dragged him back into the main room of the station, but he was beyond knowing or caring.

“Hey.” Jack shoved him down into a chair, standing in front of him to block his view of Mason. “You have to calm down, Luke. Or I’ll get Lucinda in here to drag you out until you do.” Sternly, “And I’m not even joking about that.”

Luke glared up at him, breathing hard. “He really hasn’t said anything about Noah?”

Jack sighed reluctantly. “No, not yet. I’m sorry, I really am. But you have to give Margo some time. He can’t stay quiet for that long, not even a public defender would let him do it. He has to talk. He will.”

He squirmed a little, trying to look around his cousin and glare at Mason again. He wasn’t as confident as Jack about that. Mason was still trying to win the war with him. Even if he was caught, he was still managing to keep Noah from him. “Do we know if Noah’s even alive?” he asked, deflating a little.

“For sure? No,” Jack admitted. “But I really do think he’s okay, wherever he is. For one thing, Mason wasn’t trying to leave town when we caught him. That’s a really good sign.”

“What’s the other thing?” Luke asked in a sigh, sinking back in the chair with a frustrated grunt.

Jack actually smiled a little. He shifted to the side so Luke had a clear view into the interrogation room again. “Check out the son of a bitch’s jaw.”

Luke frowned, confused, but did as he was told. He noticed for the first time the large multi-colored bruise on Mason’s face, and couldn’t help but smile too. “Noah hit him.”

“Yeah,” Jack eased down into the chair next to him. “And judging by the bruise, it happened recently. Noah’s alive, Luke. And he’s okay enough to pack a pretty good right hook.” He waited for Luke to relax a little more before continuing. “It’s just a matter of time.”

Luke bit the inside of his cheek. “Jack. This means Noah’s stuck somewhere right now, completely alone.” _ God, he must be so scared right now. _

Jack shook his head, face determined. “Not for long, he’s not.”

************   
__

_ …Saturday… _

Lily was gripping her coffee mug so tight her hands had started cramping minutes ago. She knew it was minutes, because she had been acutely aware of time passing ever since Luke had told her that that professor had been caught. Every passing hour was another hour that Noah was lost, abandoned somewhere. By himself. It had been a whole day since…

She shook her head, willing herself not to call Holden, ask him to come over. She could call Lucinda instead, she could call Emma, Carly… She didn’t need to call her ex-husband. She didn’t.

As if mocking her, the phone started to ring. She picked it up with trembling, cramped fingers. “Hello?”

“Lily, thank God!” Jack’s voice, somehow exhausted and energized at the same time, sounded loud through the connection. “I’ve tried calling Luke and Holden and haven’t been able to reach them. Where’s Luke?”

“He’s asleep, finally,” Lily’s voice shook as much as her hands. “I don’t know about Holden, he may be out riding,” he sometimes did that when life got too tense. “What’s going on, Jack? Did you get that man to talk?”

“No, unfortunately,” Jack’s momentum dropped for a second before picking up again. “But we got a break about an hour ago. The car we found Mason with? We went to neighborhoods around that convenience store, and someone recognized a photo of it.”

“What does that mean?” Lily was halfway up the stairs to Luke’s room.

“Some cops did a more thorough search of the neighborhood, and there’s one house there that has been empty for weeks. We think Mason may have been hiding out there.”

“And Noah?” she pressed, stopping at Luke’s door.

“I’m on my way there now. If Noah’s in that house, we’ll find him.” He paused, then rattled off the address nervously. “Lily, I don’t know if Luke should be here, but-”

Lily opened the door to Luke’s room and nearly dropped the phone. Luke was moving around like the old Tasmanian Devil cartoon, struggling to throw on (hopefully) clean clothes and find his keys at the same time. “I don’t think you’ll have much choice with that, Jack. We’ll be there soon.” She hung up, then turned back to her son. “Honey?”

“Mom!” Luke just realized she was there. “Jack left a message on my phone, he-”

She waved her own phone. “He just called me too. You go ahead, I’m going to go out to the farm first and get your father.” She grabbed his arm as he tried to rush past her. “You call me the second you know something, got it?”

He nodded, barely registering her words. His eyes were on the stairs that led downstairs, to the front door, to his car. To Noah. Lily glanced back into the now quiet room, her eyes catching on all the little things there that made Luke ‘Luke.’ His framed photos, his striped shirts. Old basketball trophies. His spiral notebooks and his laptop. And of course, lying on the nightstand right next to the bed, was the wristwatch she hadn’t seen him wear in weeks, but she knew he always kept close by. _ Please, God. Help fix this _ .

************   


Luke shoved his way past a few officers who were going over whatever evidence was in the living room. Noah was in here somewhere, he knew it. He scrambled up the staircase, nearly running into his cousin at the top. “Jack! Have you…?”

Jack steadied him with one hand, the other still resting lightly on his holstered gun. “There are a lot of rooms to search up here, Luke.” Which Luke knew was just a way of saying ‘no, we haven’t found Noah.’ He started forward, until Jack stopped him again. “Hey, what are you doing?”

Luke glared at him. “Helping you look. And you know you can’t stop me and you know I’ll do this no matter what you say and you know I have to do this so let’s save time and find Noah, okay?”

Jack stared at him, before smiling just a little and moving to the side, allowing Luke to move past him down the hallway. “I’ll take the rooms on the left, you take the rooms on the right. You find something, anything, you yell for me, got it?”

“Got it,” Luke answered absentmindedly, already entering the first room. He searched it top and bottom, hating it. He needed to be thorough, find any clue that could lead them to Noah, but if this was the wrong room than it was just wasting time. _ Catch-22, damn it _ .

Mostly confident that there was nothing in the first room, he moved on to the second, noticing that Jack had already done the same on the other side of the hallway. He ducked his head in first, glancing around. His heart dropped when it looked just as empty as the first room, but just as he was about to leave for the next room, something on the floor caught his eye. It looked like pieces of a wooden chair had been swept up into a corner. Weird…

Luke stepped fully into the room, hope making his blood thrum loudly in his ears. Almost too loudly to hear the sound of stuttered breathing coming from the other side of the room. A chest of drawers was pulled out oddly, at a right angle to the wall. Like it was a shield. Like it was hiding something.

A few more steps, and he was rounding the corner of the dresser. And there he was. Noah was sitting against it, his hands tied behind his back. There were a couple bruises scattered across his face, a cut dripping blood down the side, but worst of all was the cloth wrapped and tied around Noah’s eyes. Noah couldn’t see anything. That bastard had made sure Noah couldn’t see.

“Oh God, Noah.” Noah’s face turned slightly towards him when he spoke, but it wasn’t in the absolute relief Luke would’ve thought. In fact, he seemed to fold into himself even more. Luke turned his head to the door to yell out a quick, “Jack!” and then dropped to his knees next to Noah, reaching for his face. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s me, it’s-” Noah flinched away the moment Luke touched him, causing Luke to flinch too. Before he could lose his nerve, he leaned forward again and hastily pulled the cloth off and away from Noah’s eyes. “Noah,” he said again, quiet and slow. “It’s okay.”

Noah blinked heavily a few times, eyes looking around wildly. They settled on Luke for barely a second before straying around the room again, taking everything in. Just _ looking _ . Luke leaned in again to untie Noah’s hands until he saw that Noah wasn’t just sitting against the dresser. He was handcuffed to it.

A flash of movement out of the corner of his eye had Luke looking up towards the door. Jack was there, stepping in even closer. Luke shook his head, warning him away before Noah could tense up again. “Jack, he’s handcuffed. Can you get-”

Jack nodded, something in Luke’s expression must have told him to stay back. “Be right back. I’ll be bringing medics with me, though. Have to, Luke.”

Luke waved him away. “Sure.” His eyes were already back on Noah. “Noah, come on, please. Give me something. Tell me that you’re okay, or I swear to God I’m going to let them run the siren when they put you in an ambulance.” Noah blinked again and his eyes slid slowly, if unsteadily, towards Luke. He kept up the talk. “And I’ll get Mom and let her stay with you at the hospital. And I’ll even tell Emma you miss the farm and wouldn’t it be great if you had somewhere nice to recuperate…” He trailed off when he realized Noah was really looking at him now. “Hey.”

Noah swallowed hard. “Hey,” he said, voice faint and a little unsteady, but real. Breathing. “I’m… I’m okay.”

“You sure?” Luke studied him again, trying desperately not to look too close at the bruises and everything.

“Yeah,” Noah confirmed softly. “No siren, please.”

Luke gave what he hoped was a laugh. “Sure.” Noah was still shaking, still glancing around at everything. He tried to draw in a full breath, then couldn’t stop himself. “God, Noah, he _ blindfolded _ you?”

Noah cringed and looked away, but before either could say anything Jack was there in the room again, a paramedic right behind him. “Okay Luke, I need you to back up for just a second,” Jack pulled him away and before he could protest he found himself sitting back against the far wall. Jack got to work undoing the handcuffs while the paramedic examined Noah, checking for a concussion.

“Were you knocked unconscious at all, did you hit your head at any time?” the medic shined his penlight in Noah’s eyes, holding him steady when Noah tried to pull away. Luke repositioned himself so he was directly across from Noah, so he could see Luke and Luke could see him.

Noah settled down a bit when he saw Luke again, and allowed the paramedic to check his eyes. “My head’s fine,” he answered, quiet and monotone.

“Were you knocked unconscious?” the paramedic persisted, checking his head and neck.

Noah let him, not looking at anyone now. “I don’t… he drugged me a lot. I don’t know.” He flinched when the medic examined the cut above his eye. “He… I hit my head, but I don’t know how long ago it was.”

Luke clenched his jaw, dreading the truth of that, and exchanged a look with Jack. His cousin grimaced and went back to cutting the cuffs from the dresser. A few seconds later he and the paramedic were easing Noah’s freed arms forward, and Luke echoed Noah’s wince as sore muscles were moved for the first time in days.

“What day is it?” There were three other people in the room with him, but Noah would only look at Luke. “H-how long have I…?”

“It’s Saturday, Noah,” he answered quietly. “It’s been a week.”

Noah swallowed hard, trying to process that. “Oh.” Then he looked around wildly, eyed going wide. “Mason? Where is he? Did he-?”

“He’s in a very small holding cell, in handcuffs, hopefully very very miserable,” Jack answered gently. “We got him, Noah. It’s okay.”

Noah blew out another breath, though he sucked it back in sharply when the medic pressed on his side. “Okay,” the paramedic spoke up. “It’s probably time to get this young man to the hospital.” He turned to Jack. “The ambulance is outside and waiting, let’s-”

“No siren,” Luke cut in, voice firm. “Got it?” The weird looks he got from Jack and the paramedic were worth it for the small smile that showed up on Noah’s face. Totally worth it.

************

Ali was almost literally wringing her hands as she stood outside the emergency room doors. _ Noah’s okay, Noah’s okay, Noah’s okay _ , she told herself, repeating the words Luke had said just minutes ago on the phone. _ We found him. Noah’s okay _ .

“Are they here yet?” Chris came through the doors, stopping just behind her.

She shook her head, eyes facing forward. “Any minute now.”

He cleared his throat. “I called Casey, gave him the news. I think Margo’s on her way too.” When all she did was nod, he shifted on his feet again. “Look, Ali, I know things are weird right now, but-”

“They’re here!” she cut him off, relieved. When the ambulance docked next to them, she wasn’t the least bit surprised to see Luke jump out of the back. She was, however, thrown at Noah’s appearance when the stretcher was rolled out and towards her. She pushed those feelings aside, rushing forward and taking his hand with a smile. “Hey stranger, it’s nice to see you again.”

“Hey,” Noah smiled up at her weakly. “You missed me?”

“Only a little bit,” she teased. “But Hunter’s really mad you missed the movie marathon. He almost swore and everything.”

Noah gave a very quick, faint laugh and then looked at the doctor on the other side of his stretcher. “Hey Chris.”

Chris smiled back, even as he started looking over the paramedic’s notes. “It’s about time you showed up, Sinatra. People were starting to get worried.”

“Sinatra?” Luke questioned, walking next to Ali.

Chris grinned. “Yeah. Sinatra, Ol' Blue Eyes, get it?”

Noah shook his head. “I keep saying you’re a little bit gay, Chris.” He was starting to mumble, adrenaline wearing off and weariness kicking in.

Chris shook his head right back, mock-frowning. “Mayer, quit trying to convert me.”

Ali laughed along with Noah, though she also noticed Luke’s confused expression. She had to remind herself that Luke didn’t know that Noah and Chris had become friends. (And he definitely didn’t know that they had first started bonding over their anger at a certain other doctor.)

“Okay,” Chris continued, his voice easily going from friend-mode to doctor-mode. “Let’s get you into a room, make sure you’re okay. Sound good?”

“Sure,” Noah’s voice was getting quieter and quieter. Before they could get his stretcher in, he pulled his hand free from Ali’s and reached out past her. “Luke?”

Luke was there in an instant, gripping the hand tightly. “I’m right here.”

Noah tugged on the hand until Luke was leaning in close. He said something quietly that Ali couldn’t hear, but whatever it was brought what looked like tears to Luke’s eyes for a second. He blinked heavily, nodded, and then let go of Noah’s hand so Chris could get him into the exam room. Leaving Alison and Luke alone in the hallway.

“I need to get to the waiting room,” Luke said absentmindedly. “My parents should be getting here soon.”

“What did he say?” Ali asked quietly. She wasn’t even sure if Luke would tell her, but curiosity got the better of her.

“He, um, he…” Luke took a deep breath. “He said this wasn’t my fault.”

She smiled gently. “It wasn’t.”

Luke gave her a disbelieving look, but decided not to get into it. “And he asked me if I was staying.”

“Are you?” she asked tentatively.

“Of course I am!” he glared. “I’m not leaving him now, he needs me.”

She nodded, but couldn’t help but remember what had happened yesterday, when Luke couldn’t admit to Reid what was going on with Noah. “And tomorrow?” she ventured. “What happens when he needs you then?”

Luke was quiet for a moment. “I don’t know yet.”

Ali nodded again, somehow not surprised. “Well, think about it. I’m going to go change my shift schedule, I’ll be right back.”

“Ali…” he stopped her just as she started down the hallway. “Ali. I still love him.”

“That’s great, Luke.” She looked at him pointedly. “But I’m not the one you need to tell that to. There are about eight hundred things you two need to discuss. The sooner the better."  
  


	4. Because

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I was right, both of you are dumbasses. Neither of you knows how to put this back together.”

_…Saturday…  
  
_ Chris was surprised that the number of people waiting in the hallway had tripled by the time he finished up Noah’s exam. Alison was there with her brother, while Luke was standing with his parents, and Chris’s own sister-in-law and nephew were talking quietly nearby.  
  
Alison was the first to notice him. “Chris? How is he?” She was already inching her way towards the door.   
  
Everyone else came closer as well, and Chris had to move to block the door with his body. He held everyone back with a hand. “He’s… he’s alright. He’s tired.” He focused on each face, the worry he saw on each one. “Some bumps and bruises, he’s a little dehydrated and malnourished, and I think he’s just trying to, well, to cope with everything right now. But a few days of taking it easy, and he should be fine.”  
  
Everyone settled back a little in relief, but he saw that Ali was still trying to get to the door. “Is he asleep now?”  
  
Chris smiled at her, trying to convey some sort of reassurance to her. “He’s resting, but probably not asleep. If you want, you can go in and say hi.”  
  
Ali smiled and started to open the door, but stopped and turned to Luke. “Sorry, I wasn’t even thinking. Do you want-?”  
  
He was already shaking his head. “No, go ahead. I need to check something first.”  
  
Chris waited until she, Hunter, and Casey were inside Noah’s room before turning back to Luke, knowing what it was he needed to check. “He seems okay, Luke.”  
  
“What?” Luke was startled, maybe a little embarrassed.   
  
He looked at Luke and his parents and Margo, all of them still worried. “He’s definitely shaken up, and he’s going to need some time to deal with what happened, but I really do think he’s going to be okay.”  
  
Luke still looked doubtful. “I don’t know if you understand, Chris. That guy had Noah blindfolded.” Lily gasped behind him, her hand going to Holden’s shoulder to steady herself. “He was completely alone and- and blind, for at least a day. After everything he’s been through…”  
  
“He’s proved that he’s a survivor,” Chris finished for him, insisting. “And he’ll get through this too.” He glanced down at Noah’s chart, then back up at the Snyders and Margo. “I just started him on an IV drip. Once it’s done, he’s free to go. If any of you can talk him into staying overnight that would be great, but if he doesn’t want to stay…”  
  
“He won’t,” three Snyder voices responded.  
  
Margo looked at them in surprise, but Chris just laughed. “Yeah, I figured. Luckily he lives with a nurse, so he’ll probably be fine.” He looked at his sister-in-law. “He’s pretty exhausted right now though, it might be better to wait a day or two to get his statement.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, I understand,” she smiled. “We’ve got enough on Jarvis to hold him without bail for awhile, there’s no need to pressure Noah.” She patted Luke’s shoulder gently, then turned to go. “Tell Noah I’m glad he’s back with us.”  
  
Chris smiled and opened Noah’s door, ushering in the Snyders. Ali and Casey were standing on either side of Noah’s bed, Hunter a step behind his sister, but Casey instinctively stepped back to give Luke his spot. And Luke probably would have taken it, if his mom hadn’t rushed forward and beat him to it.  
  
Lily gathered Noah up in a tight hug. “Oh sweetie, I’m so glad you’re okay.” She pulled back to put her hands on either side of his face, looking him over critically. “You are okay, aren’t you?”  
  
He smiled bashfully, looking very tired but much more peaceful than when he was first brought in. “Yeah. I’m okay.” Chris hid his smile, knowing Noah would never admit how sore and weak he was feeling- bruised ribs and no food for at least a day were bad enough, but getting mothered by Lily Snyder? Poor guy.  
  
Lily kissed his forehead, then made room as Holden came forward. He did the same, giving Noah a slightly less smothering but just as relieved hug. “Good to see you, kiddo,” he said quietly. He exchanged a quick look and smile with Casey as he stood back up.  
  
Luke was next, but he said nothing. Instead he moved up next to Noah’s bedside, pulled over a chair, and sat down. Noah watched him warily, but Luke just picked up the TV remote on the bedside table. “What do you want to watch?” he asked finally, turning to look at Noah expectantly.   
  
Everyone else looked confused, but Noah smiled. “I bet there’s a good movie on AMC,” he said softly.  
  
“AMC it is,” Luke returned the smile.  
  
************  
  
Hours later, and it was down to two. Alison sat in her chair, one eye on the television and one eye on Noah. More accurately, an eye on Luke and Noah. Luke had his chair pulled up even closer to the head of Noah’s bed, and even though the two of them were watching the TV and hadn’t spoken for awhile, they were still communicating pretty loudly.  
  
Luke was leaning against the bed with his arm resting next to Noah’s, and whenever Noah shifted restlessly, Luke gently and silently moved his hand so it rested on Noah’s forearm. And when Luke got distracted by the cuff marks visible on Noah’s wrist, Noah reached out and flicked Luke’s ear with a grin, and as Luke’s eyes came up to meet his he put his hand on Luke’s shoulder, squeezing softly. Ali could have cried at how they matched, how they unconsciously worked with each other. Loved each other.   
  
She checked her watch and then checked Noah’s IV bag. “Alright hon, it looks like you’re free to go, if you’re feeling up for it.” The greatly relieved expression on his face almost made her laugh, and she felt bad for what she was about to say. “But I was hoping I could get you to stay here for at least the rest of the day. My shift isn’t over until late tonight, and I don’t want you in the apartment by yourself right now.”  
  
He flushed slightly, face falling. “I’m fine, Ali.”  
  
Both Luke and Ali grinned at the indignant, and expected, reply. “Maybe so, but you’re still pretty banged up and for my own peace of mind, I don’t want you to be alone,” she spoke carefully. “I’m sorry. But it’s only for the day.”  
  
Noah opened his mouth to protest, but another voice spoke up first. “I can take him back,” Luke offered, surprising all three of them. She noticed Noah wince at the words, and knew he was thinking of just how much he wanted Luke to take him back, just not in the way Luke meant. Maybe that’s why Luke was blushing too, and speaking quicker. “I can stay there till your shift is done.”  
  
Ali almost jumped for joy right then, but remembered at the last second that there was an opinion more important than hers. She glanced over at Noah, who had the most priceless deer in the headlights look. She snuck her hand over and squeezed his, getting his attention. “You sure I can’t persuade you to stay here overnight?” she asked, purposefully wording it to give him the out if he wanted to take it.  
  
Noah looked down at her hand on his, then over at Luke. “No, that’s okay Ali. I should probably… probably get back. Right?”  
  
She smiled, getting to work removing the IV, just as Chris reentered the room. “Alright buddy, I’m assuming you want to get out of here, so I got your discharge papers all ready to go.” Noah held his hand out eagerly, but Chris pulled them just out of reach at the last second. “You sure you don’t want to-”  
  
“No,” Noah said firmly. “I’m ready to get out of here.”  
  
Chris handed the papers over reluctantly. “Sign ’em, date ’em, drop ’em off at the nurses station on your way out.” He looked over at Ali, hesitating. “I could work something out with the shifts, if you want to-”  
  
And once again he got interrupted. “That’s okay,” Ali shook her head. “Luke’s going to take him back to our place.”  
  
“Luke is?” Chris echoed, raising one eyebrow. He looked at Noah and Luke for just a second, face twitching. And in that second Luke twitched back, eyes narrowing. Ali glanced worriedly at Noah and opened her mouth to say… something, but luckily Chris snapped out of it first. “Alright, good. That’s good. You’re going to have to take it easy for awhile, Sinatra. It’s probably best that there’s someone with you.”  
  
Noah was already waving away the advice, gingerly swinging his legs over the side of the bed (Luke’s side, Alison noticed), and standing up. To spare him any more awkwardness, Ali came over and gave him a quick hug, leading him to the door at the same time. “You can call me, any time, if you need something, okay?” she whispered, hoping the other guys couldn’t hear her.  
  
He hugged her back, resting his head on her shoulder for just a second. “Thanks, Ali. I’ll be fine.”  
  
She kissed his cheek very quickly, giving him a gentle push out the door. “I know you will be.” At least, she really really hoped.  
  
Luke sent one slightly nervous smile her way and then followed Noah out the door, one hand stretched out just a few inches, surreptitiously ready to help Noah if he needed it. She watched them head off down the hallway, sensing Chris come up next to her. “You sure this is a good idea?” he asked.   
  
“Yes,” she answered firmly. “This needs to happen. If there can be one good thing to come out of what Noah just went through… maybe this is it. Hopefully.”  
  
“Hopefully,” Chris echoed. He shook his head. “I know I didn’t know them when they were together, so forgive me for this, but… is it worth it?”  
  
“Yeah,” she said softly. “It is.”  
  
************  
  
Luke opened the door and stepped back, allowing Noah to shuffle his way into the apartment first. He followed, past the kitchen and into the living room, glancing around as he did so. He was a stranger in this place, an outsider. He’d only been here a couple times, and everywhere he looked there was evidence of the past few months of Noah’s life. Noah’s life without him. A stack of film textbooks (was Noah taking classes again?) on the coffee table, a new jacket draped over a chair, his movie camera hooked up to his laptop (was he working on a new film? Already?) and there- tucked up on the highest possible shelf so it was almost out of reach- Noah’s folded-up cane. Luke found himself staring at the hated thing, snapping out of it when Noah reached the couch and failed to sit down smoothly.  
  
“Hey, hold on a sec,” Luke moved forward quickly, unconsciously reaching out and easing him down onto the cushions, moving a pillow out of the way to give him more room. He suddenly realized what he was doing and pulled his hands back, waiting for Noah to get upset with him for helping, but nothing happened.  
  
Noah just leaned back farther into the couch, attempting a smile. “Thanks,” he murmured quietly.  
  
Luke just stared at him. “Do you need anything?” he finally asked, just as quiet.  
  
Noah started to shake his head, but then stopped himself. He looked at Luke cautiously. “Um, I think there’s some water in the fridge, I mean, if you don’t mind? My throat’s kinda…” he trailed off.  
  
Luke smiled to cover his surprise. “Coming right up,” he promised. Noah smiled back, which gave Luke the encouragement he needed to stand, his hand straying to Noah’s shoulder for just a second before he went into the kitchen. And there were more signs of Noah everywhere. Some he recognized- the detailed, immaculate shopping list posted to the fridge, the lack of dirty dishes in the sink. Some he didn’t- postcards reminding Noah of his next checkup with the optometrist, the set of classic movie poster magnets decorating the door of the freezer, a ‘Get Well Soon!’ card that could only have been made by one Ethan Snyder.  
  
He hurriedly grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge, telling himself he was drawing the line and not snooping in the fruit and vegetable drawer. Of course, that didn’t stop him from noticing the six-pack stacked behind the milk and juice cartons. He knew Ali wasn’t much of a beer drinker, so that left… When had Noah started drinking beer regularly? Did he just drink occasionally? Every night? Just beer, or liquor too? Or-  
  
He shook himself again.  _Get a grip, Snyder_. His grandmother was right, neither he nor Noah were the same people they’d been when they broke up. This was a different Noah, and he was a different Luke. Would that be a good thing or a bad thing? This Noah seemed… what? More sure of himself? More comfortable with people? How did this Noah feel about  _this_  Luke?   
  
When he gingerly took a seat on the couch, Noah looked over with a smile again. “Thank you,” he took the bottle Luke held out for him.  
  
Luke watched him take a few slow sips before setting it aside. After a minute or two of excruciating silence, he couldn’t stand it any longer. “So,” he cleared his throat a little. “How are you feeling? Do you want to go-” he almost said ‘get in bed’ but rephrased at the last second. “-Get some sleep?”  
  
Noah just shook his head. “Not tired.” His hands fidgeted in his lap.  
  
He couldn’t help but give a  _yeah-right_!-look at that. “Noah…” he warned.  
  
“Not sleepy,” he amended with a little, sheepish smile. “I just feel… weird.”  
  
Luke didn’t know if he felt weird because of everything that happened or because Luke was there. Maybe both. Maybe Luke didn’t want to know. But he had to try, right? “You okay? Do you want to, um, talk about anything?”  
  
“I don’t know what he made you think,” Noah burst out suddenly, as though he had just been waiting for Luke to open up discussion. “But he didn’t hurt me.”  
  
Luke was startled for a second, but then looked him over again, eyeing the bruises on his face disbelievingly. “Really?”  
  
Noah had to look away. “I almost got free, and I hit him, and he hit me back.”  _With a chair_ , they both added silently, before Noah continued tentatively. “But he didn’t… I don’t know what he said to you, but he didn’t, um, he didn’t hurt me any other way, he-”  
  
Oh. Then he got it. He reached forward, hand on Noah’s arm, squeezing. “Okay, okay,” he reassured quickly, hiding the crazy amount of relief that swept through him. “I’m glad,” was all he could think to say. Noah offered up a weak smile, and Luke had to say something too. “And I don’t know what he told you, but I…” he stopped, so nervous. “I tried, Noah. I tried everything I could think of to get him to let you go. I offered everything- money,  _me_. He just wanted to hurt me, and I just wanted you to be safe. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”  
  
Noah was reaching for him now. “Luke, I mean it. It’s not your fault, none of it. None of it,” his voice got tight, insisting. “He- Mason was crazy. Like, certifiable. You didn’t make him that way.”  
  
“He took you,” Luke whispered. “Because I wasn’t there.”  
  
“No,” he said again. “Because he’s crazy. And he couldn’t deal with his own mistakes and failure, so he blamed you and me.” He pulled Luke’s face up to meet his gaze. “Not. Your. Fault.”  
  
Luke couldn’t look away. “I thought he was going to hurt you because of me,” he confessed. “Because I pissed him off. Because I got him fired in the first place.”  
  
“You didn’t get him fired,” Noah responded softly. “Damian did. And he did. Not you. And you didn’t get him to kidnap me. If anything, Casey and Hunter were at the movies with me before it happened. You should blame them.”  
  
Luke tried to smile at the attempt at humor. “I should have been at the movies with you,” he said, still unable to look away.  
  
Noah’s eyes brightened. “I wish you had been,” he admitted. “I mean, not for what happened after, but for the movie part. Actually, not the movie, because it sucked, but for… I miss you,” he ended lamely, with a shrug.  
  
“I miss you too,” Luke choked, feeling heavy. And then somehow their arms were wrapped around each other, fitting together just like they used to. At least this hadn’t changed, Luke realized with some relief. He rested his head against Noah’s shoulder, hearing him breathe, feeling his hands on his back warm and reassuring. Something in Luke’s chest, something that had been screwed up and shut tight for months, suddenly came loose. “Noah…” Noah turned his head towards him a little, and the bare skin of his face brushed against the bare skin of Luke’s. And then Luke pulled away sharply, almost missing Noah’s wince at either the sudden movement or the loss of contact. “Noah, I can’t.”  
  
Definitely a wince now. “Can’t what?” he asked, sounding small.  
  
Luke opened his mouth, wishing he knew how to explain. He wanted to be with Noah, wanted Noah to be with him. But he couldn’t while he was still with Reid. He wasn’t a cheater. He’d seen what that did to people, he wasn’t about to become like that either. He had to talk to Reid first. After, of course, he explained it to Noah-  
  
He shouldn’t have been surprised that his phone rang. Of course it would. Of course it did. He reached for his phone, instinctively checking the screen before answering. “Oh.” It was Reid.  
  
************  
  
The knock at the door startled Noah out of his thoughts, and he had to admit he was glad for the interruption. They either kept straying to what had happened with Mason or what wasn’t happening with Luke, and it was all way too depressing. And he was exhausted.  
  
He stood slowly, holding a hand to his bruised side, and made his way to the door. He opened it without thinking, and simultaneously kicked himself for not checking who it was first. God, it could have been anyone, it could have been… “Maddie?”  
  
She stood in the doorway, look travel-worn and freaked out. And incredibly relieved. “Casey told me you were missing.” She stepped inside the apartment, closed the door, locked every lock, and he stared wordlessly. “And I tried to get back here sooner but there weren’t any available flights. And then I find out you’ve been kidnapped and it’s that creepy professor-guy you told me about and by the time I landed here you’d been rescued. But you weren’t at the hospital and Alison said Luke brought you back here.” She finally took a breath, grabbed Noah by both arms, and pulled him close. “How are you, are you okay?”  
  
He returned the hug, surprised at how relieved he was and how good it felt. “It’s nice that you’re here,” he whispered into her shoulder.   
  
She pulled back. “Of course I’m here.” She shook her head. “And honestly, I’m afraid to ever leave town again. Somebody has to keep you out of trouble!” she dropped her purse on the side table and sat on the couch, patting the cushion next to her. “Speaking of, where’s Luke?” She looked around, expecting him to walk out of the kitchen or the bathroom.  
  
Noah sat beside her and tried to ignore the way his stomach flip-flopped over at his name. “He had to go.” He rushed to explain at the angry look on her face. “No, it’s okay. He got a phone call, and he’d been ignoring his life to spend the last couple days looking for me, and he couldn’t just-”  
  
“It was Dr. Oliver who called, wasn’t it?” she asked quietly. He didn’t have to answer. She sighed a little and pulled him down for another hug, and he allowed himself to sink into this one. He told himself he was shaking because he was tired, and it had been a long, scary couple of days. “I can’t believe he left you here,” she muttered.  
  
Noah attempted a shrug. “I left him first.”  
  
She rolled her eyes loudly. “Oh God, you dumbass. You’re both dumbasses.” She kissed his forehead, keeping it on her shoulder, and then picked up the remote. “Okay, what’ll it be- _Casablanca_ ,  _Bringing Up Baby_ , or  _Snakes on a Plane_?”  
  
************  
  
He was sitting outside the door, waiting, when Reid pulled up in his car. “Hey,” he said quietly, standing up. His hands found their way into his pockets, the gesture he recognized as ‘I’m about to say something I don’t want to but I think I have to.’ He wasn’t sure if Reid would be familiar with it.  
  
Apparently Reid didn’t need to be. His eyes were expectant even before he came to a stop in front of Luke. “So how are we going to do this, loud and messy in public or quick and painless inside?”  
  
Luke was shocked. “What?” This wasn’t exactly how he had imagined this going.  
  
Reid crossed his arms. “You’re here to break up with me, Luke. Let’s not pretend otherwise. Say what you have to say so I can go take a shower and get some sleep.”  
  
Luke couldn’t help but smirk. “Do you just want to go ahead and break up with yourself, save the time?”  
  
Reid smiled a little bit, came to stand next to Luke at the door, leaning against it so they were both facing out into the parking lot. “Say what you have to say, Luke.”  
  
Luke took a deep breath, ready to launch into the entire speech, when suddenly realized he only needed to say one thing. “I’m in love with Noah.”  
  
“I know,” Reid replied immediately, voice even. “I’ve been waiting for you to figure that out for weeks now.”  
  
“You have?” he looked over at Reid.   
  
“Let’s not kid ourselves here. We are who we are, and we both know this wasn’t going to last forever.” Reid lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “I’m not looking for anything serious and neither were you. Unfortunately, for me sex isn’t serious. It is for you. Everything in a relationship is serious for you.”  
  
“Why didn’t you ever say anything to me?” Luke snapped, angry and a little embarrassed.  
  
Reid continued to be infuriatingly calm. “Because you would have gotten defensive and held onto ‘us’ even tighter just to prove me wrong, which would have made everything worse. For everyone, including me.”   
  
“That’s not true,” Luke protested weakly, more out of habit than actual conviction.  
  
“Yes it is,” Reid looked at him incredulously. “And you came here tonight to break up with me, so the argument’s not really going to hold up.”  
  
“How did you know?” he had to ask, avoiding eye contact again.  
  
“I heard that Noah was admitted and discharged- he is okay, right?” Reid asked for confirmation. At Luke’s nod, he continued. “Good. Anyway, I heard that he was admitted and discharged, figured you’d be with him or need to be with him.” Another smirk. “This was just the ‘wake up call’ you needed, wasn’t it?”  
  
“How can you be so accepting of this?” Luke was still in some disbelief.  
  
“Oh come on, Luke, I knew from when we first started up that it wasn’t going to last forever. I was fine with what I got out of it, but this ultimately wasn’t going to be enough for you.”  
  
“Nice to see that you know me that well,” he snapped again.  
  
“ _You_  know you that well too,” Reid wasn’t fazed. “Think about it. Think about what type of future we’d have. You would eventually. And you want a family. And you know I don’t. I don’t want kids, I don’t want big Thanksgiving dinners or summer barbeques or any of that. It’s not me.” He gave Luke a pointed look. “It  _is_  Noah. And you.”  
  
Luke opened his mouth to argue (more for the sake of arguing), but a memory flashed unbidden through his brain. From about a month ago, one of those rare times he and Noah did run into each other. Luke had come home from spending a day at the Foundation to find Noah babysitting Ethan and Natalie. His sister running circles around the couch, Noah chasing her with Ethan riding piggyback. The look of pure elation on all three of their faces, the way Noah had hugged them so tightly when saying goodbye…  
  
That was the crux of the matter, wasn’t it? Reid was a boyfriend. Noah was family.  
  
Finally, he was able to look over at Reid. “I’m sorry,” he offered lamely.  
  
Reid rolled his eyes. “Don’t be. Somehow, I think I’ll survive the ending of our epic romance.” He fished his keys out of his pocket, turning to unlock his door. “Of course, if you want to try a round of breakup sex, I’m fine with that.”  
  
“Don’t be such an ass,” Luke replied, the words automatic. He stayed outside as Reid moved into the doorway. “Reid…” What was he supposed to say? “I-”  
  
“I know. And me too. It was fun while it lasted.” Reid spun around to face him. “And Mr. Snyder? It’s my professional opinion that the two of you need to work some issues out. Stop letting petty insecurities and stupid pride get in the way of things.”  
  
“Really?” Luke grinned. “That’s what I should do?” The realization that now he had to go back and figure things out with Noah was a terrifying buzz in the back of his mind, one he wanted to ignore for just a minute or two longer.  
  
Reid quirked an eyebrow. “Trust me. I’m a genius.”  
  
************  
  
Luke knocked quietly, half-hoping Noah wouldn’t hear him and he could put this off until… No, no, he couldn’t put this off. He closed his eyes and took a calming breath, preparing himself for whatever Noah would look like when he opened the door. However, he definitely wasn’t expecting him to look like a five-foot-two girl.  
  
They stared at each other in surprise for a moment before Maddie quickly stepped out of the apartment and closed the door behind her. “What are you doing here?” she asked.  
  
“Me?” Luke stuttered. “What are  _you_  doing here?”  
  
“Taking care of Noah!” she hissed. “And good thing, considering he was alone when I got here.”  
  
Luke flushed at the accusation. “Maddie, I had to leave. I was going to come back! I just had to…” he had no idea how to explain it, and she wasn’t the person he really wanted to explain it to.  
  
Maddie crossed her arms and stood defiantly in front of the door. “Well, you can’t come in now. I just finally got him to go to sleep, okay, and I’m not going to risk him not getting the rest he needs.”  
  
“Just now?” Luke looked past her at the door, as though it would magically open for him. “He’s just now sleeping? It’s been hours! He needs sleep!”  
  
“Duh, Luke!” she smacked his arm lightly. “He’s all freaked out right now. I think he’s afraid he’ll close his eyes and not be able to see when he opens them again.” She heaved a sigh. “It’s going to be like after he got his sight back all over again.”  
  
“What do you mean?” Luke asked, afraid to know the answer and ashamed he didn’t know already.  
  
“After he got his eyesight back. He just kept, like, looking at everything. Like he was afraid he was going to go blind again. It took two days before he really got any sleep. And I think that was only because Alison and Chris tricked him by…” she noticed Luke’s wide eyes. “How did you not know any of this?”  
  
“How did you?” Luke couldn’t help but ask. Maddie had been back at Wesleyan by that point.  
  
She shrugged. “When I found out Alison was moving in with Noah, I asked her to keep me updated on how he was doing.” She studied Luke silently for a moment. “I was right, both of you are dumbasses. Neither of you knows how to put this back together.”  
  
“Maddie,” Luke breathed out. “Can you just let me in? I won’t wake him, I promise. But he and I need to talk, and I want to be there when he does wake up.”  
  
She hesitated. “Look, I know it’s none of my business. But-”  
  
“But that’s never stopped you before?” he murmured.  
  
She smacked him again. “Shut up, Snyder. I’m talking here.” They both grinned unconsciously, the ‘just like old times’ ringing through their brains. But then Maddie grew serious again. “I don’t want to ask you, believe me I don’t, about why you want to talk to him. But… just… he’s had a really rough couple of days, Luke. If you’re here to break his heart, I don’t…” she trailed off, uncertain. “Even if he deserves it, can’t you hold off for a little while?”  
  
“Madds?” Luke touched her shoulder, bringing her attention back to him. “I’m not here to break his heart. I’m not here out of pity or obligation, either.”  
  
She did her half-glare, half-calculating once over, squinting her eyes. “You promise?” When he nodded she heaved out a relieved sigh. “Thank God. I don’t think I can take any more ridiculousness from you two. I mean, for real Luke. You two survived getting past  _me_  as a romantic obstacle, how can this be so hard?”  
  
“Madds? Shut up,” he advised as he followed her into the apartment. This time he only looked for Noah went entering, but he wasn’t in the living room. “Where is he?”  
  
Maddie blushed. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I forced him into bed.”  
  
Luke almost choked, managing to stifle his laugh and keep quiet. “Man, you really are an obstacle, aren’t you?”  
  
She dropped back onto the couch, where the end of  _Bringing Up Baby_  (Luke couldn’t believe he actually recognized the film) was playing on TV. “It just comes naturally.” She beckoned for him to join her. “Casey called a few minutes ago, from the police station. They finally managed to get a real confession out of the Nutty Professor, so they’re going ahead and charging him with everything they can.”  
  
Luke bit the inside of his cheek. “Did he say anything about Noah?”  
  
She wasn’t blushing anymore. In fact, she looked pale. “Yeah. He was kind of under the impression that he’d be able to ‘persuade’ Noah to, I don’t know, leave town with him.” She didn’t go into detail, and Luke didn’t ask her to. “He apparently kept trying to convince Noah that you had ditched him completely and you and the doctor were sleeping together and in love and…” she shook her head. “The guy was sick, Luke. I don’t think for a second that Noah was-”  
  
“Yeah.” Luke didn’t want to hear anymore.  
  
But Maddie wasn’t done. “You know, I’m glad you went and ended things with Reid first, but really, couldn’t you have made sure Noah knew that’s what you were doing when you left?”  
  
“What?” Luke’s head snapped up. He narrowed his eyes, thinking back on when he’d been on this couch earlier. “Oh God.” He had just run out after Reid called, hadn’t he? He’d been so focused and in a hurry to get that talk with Reid over with, he hadn’t even properly explained himself to Noah. “Oh God.”  
  
“Yeah,” Maddie shook her head, sitting back in the couch. “You two really like to make it hard on yourselves, don’t you?”  
  
************  
  
 _…Sunday…_  
  
Luke’s breath caught in his throat when Noah emerged from his bedroom in nothing but a pair of plaid pajama pants and eyeglasses, rubbing at his face with one tired hand. “Maddie, I can’t-” his voice, still rumbly from sleep, cracked completely when he saw who was sitting on the couch. “Luke?”  
  
“Hey,” he spoke quietly, as though a normal volume would be too harsh. He hooked a thumb over his shoulder, pointing towards the door. “Maddie went to get some lunch with Alison.”  
  
“Lunch?” Noah’s eyes went a little wide and he glanced around the room as though seeing everything all over again. “What time is it?”  
  
He laughed. “A little after one.” He felt he had to add, “In the afternoon.”  
  
Noah’s face was flushed as he rubbed his face again. “I slept for like twelve hours.”  
  
Luke shook his head with a smile. “Well, you needed it.” He cleared his throat, fidgeting with his hands a little before standing up and heading to the kitchen. “Are you hungry? I can, um, attempt to make something. Can’t promise it’ll be edible, but it-”  
  
“Luke.” There was that quiet, gentle voice Luke knew would always be able to stop him in his tracks (and in his ramblings). He turned around to see that Noah was still standing in the same spot. One of his hands had come up to cradle or cover his side, hiding the bruises Luke already knew were there. He directed his gaze up to Noah’s face, saw the uncertainty and fear in his eyes. Noah bit his lower lip for just a second, and Luke’s heart jumped at the gesture he hadn’t seen in so long. “Why are you here? Why… why’d you come back?”  
  
The speech Luke had been preparing while sitting on the couch disappeared completely from his brain the second they locked eyes. “Because I shouldn’t have left,” he finally said softly. So softly he hoped Noah could still hear him from all the way across the room. “Because I never should have let you leave me.” Noah took a tiny step back at that, which just pulled Luke a step forward. Closer. “Because you told me last week that you were still in love with me and you showed me you wanted to take care of me.” Another step closer.  
  
Noah was shaking. “Luke…”  
  
Luke kept going. “Because almost losing you this week made me realize I’ve never lost you here,” he put a hand to his chest as he took another step. “Because you’re still one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, and you’ve always made me want to be better too.” He was just a few feet from Noah now. “Because a year ago you saved my life while almost bleeding to death, and shrugged it off like it was no big deal. And then did it again a month later. Because you’ve been saving me since the day I met you.”  
  
Noah shook his head. “I’m not-”  
  
Luke moved in, one hand going to the side of Noah’s face, the other to the top of his head, smoothing down his hair. “Because you love my family, even when we’re not together. Because you remind me of how important they are. You remind me how important everything is. Because you’ve made me feel loved and wanted.” He pulled Noah’s face a little closer to his. Not too close, not wanting to move things too fast for him, but needing to get rid of the space between them. “Because I am still so completely in love with you.”  
  
It sounded like Noah tried to draw some air in his lungs and failed. He trembled in Luke’s grip, so much so that Luke let one hand drop to his waist, holding him steady. Noah didn’t seem to notice, staring at him like this couldn’t be real. Luke held still, letting him think and process. He nearly cried when a hand tentatively trailed up his side to land on his shoulder, fingers gripping his shirt a little. “You… you are?”  
  
He nodded, feeling his eyes burn a little with the tears that didn’t fall. “I never stopped. I never should have made you think I stopped.”  
  
Noah shook his head, his own eyes growing bright. “I pushed you.”  
  
Luke smiled, leaning in just a little more, his lips an inch from Noah’s. “ _I’m pulling you back_.”   
  
The kiss started out soft, hesitant. It was so much like their very first kiss that Luke almost expected Noah to be wearing a tie when he leaned back again. But no, Noah didn’t have a tie on. Luke was suddenly acutely aware that Noah didn’t even have a shirt on. The hand on Noah’s face slid down slowly to rest against his chest, against his heart. Noah looked down at the touch, then back up to Luke’s face.   
  
“You’ve gotten thinner,” Luke commented. Noah was still too gorgeous for words, but Luke could see muscles and bones sticking out just a little bit more than they used to. “My grandma’s gonna flip when she sees you like this.”  
  
Noah smiled, finally smiled. “I kinda hope she doesn’t see me like  _this_ ,” he waved a hand at his bare chest. Luke laughed and moved back in for another kiss, but just like the week before, Noah held his shoulder and stopped him. “Luke…” he shook his head, suddenly looking really nervous. “Are you still with Dr. Oliver?”  
  
“What?” Luke couldn’t believe he’d been stopped from kissing him yet again, especially to talk about Reid. “Noah-”  
  
“I have to know, Luke,” he tried to look stern. “I have to. I can’t kiss you again unless I know that it’s for real. That we’re-”  
  
Luke shut him up pretty effectively with this kiss. When he pulled back this time, Noah’s eyes were still closed. Luke smiled, adding another quick kiss just as Noah’s eyes reopened. “I’m here. I’m here with you and no one else.”   
  
“When you left earlier,” Noah started but couldn’t finish.  
  
Luke shook his head. “I went to end things with him. I don’t want him in the picture, I want it to be just us.”  
  
He smiled again. “I want that too.”  
  
Luke would have kissed him again, but a yawn from Noah interrupted him. He laughed instead, taking Noah’s arm and guiding him back into the bedroom. “A few more hours of sleep wouldn’t hurt you, you know.” He picked up a granola bar and bottle of Gatorade that Ali had left on the bedside table. “Eat and drink this as much as you can, then I think you need another nap.”  
  
“No,” Noah protested, holding onto Luke even as he was pushed back onto the bed. “No, you’re here now. We need to talk, we need to-”  
  
“We both need you to get some strength back before we do that,” Luke reprimanded lightly. “I promise, Noah, I’m going to stay right here with you. Nothing short of the apocalypse is taking me away, got it?” He made his point by getting comfortable in the bed, sitting up against the headboard.  
  
Noah looked nervous but scooted back so he was sitting next to Luke. They were quiet for a few minutes as Noah ate the granola bar and sipped on the Gatorade, even taking the painkillers Luke handed him without protest. As he got comfortable, moving himself down so he was lying flat on the bed, Luke put the half-empty bottle back on the nightstand, opening the top drawer to put the pill bottle and Noah’s glasses in there. Just as he was about to shut the drawer, something caught his eye. His name. There was an envelope in the drawer with his name on it, written in a slightly sloppy version of Noah’s handwriting.  
  
Taking a chance, he picked up the envelope, holding it up. It was empty. Confused, he turned back to Noah. “What’s this?”  
  
Noah flinched, paling. “It’s…” he took a deep breath. “I wrote you a letter. A few days before the surgery. Ali was supposed to give it to you if… if something happened.”  
  
“Something happened?” Luke echoed, not wanting to understand, even though he did.  
  
Noah looked up at him from his pillow. “If something happened to me during the surgery. If I didn’t wake up or… I don’t know, if I wasn’t myself anymore.”  
  
Luke didn’t want to think about that. “Where’s the letter now?”  
  
And now Noah definitely wasn’t looking at him. “I threw it away.”  
  
Part of Luke was wondering if Noah threw it away because the surgery was a success or because he found out about Luke and Reid. Or both. He watched as Noah closed his eyes for a second before snapping them open again, glancing around the room before looking at Luke again. “I’m here,” he said again. He took a chance, running his hand through Noah’s hair, and both of them smiled at the sensation. Both of them had missed it so much.  
  
“I’m scared to close my eyes,” Noah confessed.  
  
Luke tried to keep the smile on his face. “I know. I probably would be too.” He slid a little closer, laying himself down so they were facing each other.   
  
“I don’t want to wake up and everything be dark again,” he whispered. “He blindfolded me before I woke up. I don’t know how long I was like that. But I’d wake up, and I… I couldn’t  _see_ ,” his voice shook, and without thinking he reached forward and pulled Luke’s hand into his. “And I didn’t know why. I didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t.” A tear finally escaped, trailed down his cheek, but Noah didn’t move to brush it away. “I didn’t want to wake up like that again.”  
  
His stomach dropped a little at that, but Luke pushed it aside. Instead he brought Noah’s hand to his lips, kissed it gently. “I’m real, Noah. This, right now, is real. It’s okay to be scared, but I want you to know that nothing bad is going to happen. You’ll see me again when you wake up. I promise.”  
  
Noah squeezed his hand, the painkillers starting to kick in. “I love you.”  
  
“I love you too,” he whispered, watching as Noah’s eyes slid shut again, his breaths evening out. “I love you too.”  
  
************  
  
Ali was nervous as to what she’d get back to when she reentered the apartment. There were a lot of possible outcomes, and while she hoped for the best, she also prepared for the worst. Life had taught her that much.  
  
“Well,” Maddie whispered, eyeing the empty living room. “So far nothing looks… gut-wrenchingly depressing.”  
  
Ali half-smiled, but couldn’t give in just yet. “Hold on,” she cautioned, creeping over to the door to Noah’s bedroom. She eased the door open to check on Noah, just like she had when she’d gotten home earlier after finding Luke camped out on her Ikea couch.   
  
This time Luke was camped out on Noah’s bed. Both of them were asleep, facing each other, foreheads almost touching. Arms wrapped around each other. Together.  
  
She and Maddie breathed quiet sighs of relief at the same time. “We should probably get out of here,” Ali whispered. “Give them some more time alone.”  
  
“Yeah,” Maddie agreed just as quietly, but paused just before shutting the door. “Are you as tempted as I am to take a picture?”  
  
“Maddie!” she admonished, barely remember to keep her voice down. “I mean, yeah of course I am, but no!” She pulled Noah’s door shut and pulled Maddie out of the apartment.  
  
The second the front door clicked shut, Luke opened his eyes with a smirk. “They’re gone.”  
  
Noah’s eyes opened a bit more slowly, carefully, but he smiled too. “That was a good idea.”  
  
“I figured you might want a little more time before everyone swarmed in here,” he grinned, smoothing back some more of Noah’s messy hair. “How are you feeling?”  
  
He shrugged, tilting his head just a little into Luke’s hand. “Better. Still kinda… out of it, I guess. I don’t really want to think about Mason and all that.”   
  
“Okay,” Luke assured. “Can, can I ask you something else then?”  
  
“Sure,” Noah looked confused at the nervous expression on his face. “Anything.”  
  
He took a deep breath, nodded to the empty envelope on the nightstand. “What did the letter say?” he asked softly.  
  
“Everything I should have been saying since the accident,” Noah answered with no hesitation. “Everything I didn’t say and couldn’t say, but you should have known.”  
  
Luke nodded. “Like what?” he ventured, hoping he wasn’t pressing his luck.  
  
Fortunately Noah just bit lip, thinking hard. “Like how sorry I was that I wasn’t being me, that I wasn’t being what you needed or des-”  
  
“New rule for our new relationship?” Luke looked stern. “No more talk on what either of us ‘deserve.’ Got it?”  
  
Noah smiled a little. “New rule?” he echoed.  
  
“If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do this right,” Luke answered firmly.   
  
Noah studied him for a moment, then nodded. “I wrote that I didn’t want you to blame yourself for why I was blind because it was never your fault, I wanted you to know that being with you was the best thing I’ve ever done in my life, and if-” he cleared his throat. “-If something were to happen to me, I wanted you to be okay. I just wanted you to be happy no matter what. More than anything, I want you to be happy.”  
  
Luke knew he’d gone from past to present tense, but said nothing. He just smiled, leaned in, and kissed him slowly. Listening for that hum that Noah always made during a kiss. God, Luke was pretty sure he had missed that hum as much as he’d missed anything. “I’m happy right now,” he murmured.  
  
“Good,” Noah’s face had lost a lot of the tension that had been there for so long.  
  
“Can you tell me why you never said those things to me directly?” Luke couldn’t stop himself from asking.  
  
Noah shrugged self-consciously. “I was kinda scared it was too late and I was too far gone. And you would let me go.” A deep breath. “And I was mad.”  
  
Luke closed his eyes for a second, wanting to pull back but forcing himself not to. “I’m so sorry, Noah. I didn’t mean for a lot of stuff to happen.”  
  
Noah pulled on his hand, getting his attention. “How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t blame you for any of that? It was an accident, Luke.”  
  
“But you were so angry for so long,” Luke protested.  
  
He shook his head, wincing. Luke watched him with a frown. He was beginning to realize that something else might be up, but he had no idea what it could be. Noah finally made eye contact again. “I was angry at a lot of things, Luke.”  
  
“I need you to tell me the truth then,” Luke squeezed his hand. “Were you ever mad at me?”  
  
“Yes,” Noah admitted. “But not for the accident!” he rushed to explain at the crestfallen expression on Luke’s face. “I never blamed you for that, not really. I know I said stupid stuff after I woke up, but I wasn’t mad at you for that.”  
  
“Then what was it?” he had to know.  
  
He looked at Luke, obviously debating whether or not he should say what he wanted to say. Finally, very softly, “I was mad that you sent me away.”  
  
The words hit Luke like a ton of bricks. Like sixteen tons worth of bricks. “What?” he managed to get out.  
  
Noah looked more embarrassed than anything else. “I didn’t want to go to the rehab clinic. I thought… at the time, I thought you and your family didn’t want to deal with me anymore. But I didn’t want to go. And it seemed so easy for you all to send me away.”  
  
“It wasn’t easy,” Luke didn’t know whether to be upset or reassuring or angry or anything. He was shocked.  
  
“I know, Luke, I know,” Noah insisted. “It’s just how I was feeling then. I was upset about it, and it fed into everything I was feeling, and I couldn’t control… well, at that point I wasn’t really in control of anything. Least of all my feelings.” He sighed heavily. “I couldn’t help it. I was mad that I did something that made you send me away and then when I got back from rehab I didn’t know who I was anymore.”  
  
He blinked back a few tears. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.”  
  
“I know that now, Luke. Of course you didn’t.” Noah twisted around so he was laying on his back, looking up at the ceiling. “It wasn’t even really about you. I was just feeling all this stuff again, and I never thought I’d have to, and it made me freak out. A lot.”  
  
Luke propped himself up some so he could still see Noah’s face. Fear was taking up residence in his stomach again. “What does that mean? ‘Feeling all this stuff again,’ what stuff? What again?”  
  
For a long time Noah didn’t speak, looking about as scared as he had when Luke had found him in that house the day before. “I tried to kill myself when I was fourteen,” he spoke so quietly and faintly, like he wasn’t even talking to Luke. Which was kind of okay, because Luke couldn’t possibly be hearing things right. “My dad didn’t know how to deal with it, so he sent me away. To a  _center_  or whatever he called it. Spent the whole summer having to talk to doctors and counselors and whoever else and hear about how I had ‘so much to live for’ and all that.” He laughed humorlessly. “Which was stupid, because at the time I had nothing.”  
  
“Noah…” Luke had nothing else to say.  
  
He gave no indication that he’d heard. “The things that were supposed to be worth living for were stuff I’d only seen in movies. Not in real life. But they didn’t care. They kept telling me over and over how wrong I’d been to do it, how I should be so grateful I had my father to care about me, how hard it must have been for him to deal with something like this. How I shouldn’t want to put that burden on him…”  
  
Luke tried to imagine a world where Noah never made it past age fourteen. He couldn’t do it without wanting to scream. Instead he moved forward, hand going to Noah’s cheek, holding him almost desperately. “You have never been a burden to me, Noah. I’ve never, ever, regretted being with you.”  
  
Noah looked at him sadly. “I haven’t made it easy for you.”  
  
He laughed. “Yeah, and I’m sure it was always a real  _picnic_  being with me all the time.” His hand was in Noah’s hair again. For some reason, things just seemed better when he could play with Noah’s hair. “I can’t believe I never knew about this.”  
  
“I like to pretend it never happened,” Noah confessed. “I never wanted you to know because I wanted to be better for you. And I wanted to pretend I wasn’t that type of person. Like I was never that unhappy. That my dad didn’t ship me off so he wouldn’t have to deal with me. And when I started to feel that way again, after the accident… I just wanted it all to go away. I got scared. Which made me angry. I’m sorry.”  
  
“God, Noah,” Luke wasn’t sure what to do next. He leaned in, resting his forehead against Noah’s. “I don’t… can’t, um,” he took a deep breath. “Jesus, I wish you had told me about this! You’ve been carrying this around? All this time? Why didn’t you tell me?”  
  
Noah chuckled painfully. “Have you  _met_  me?”  
  
Luke laughed too, but only because he knew Noah wanted him to. “Do you remember last summer, when I went to Kentucky without telling you?” At Noah’s nod, “And you said that it wasn’t my life or your life, but our life.”   
  
“I remember,” Noah’s voice broke a little.  
  
Luke used his free hand to tap him on the chest. “That’s going to be another new rule. From now on, we have to talk to each other. And listen to each other.” He stopped tapping, laying the hand flat on his chest now. “Like we’re doing now. See? Sharing this kind of stuff doesn’t have to be scary anymore.”   
  
Noah put his hand on top of Luke’s, then leaned up a little to kiss him. “Nothing scares me more than being without you,” he whispered, his lips still touching Luke’s.  
  
Luke’s breath hitched, so to cover it up he pushed Noah back flat again, covering a little more of Noah’s upper body with his own, kissing him as deeply and as strongly and as  _I’m here_ as he could. He only stopped when he realized Noah was shaking under him. Really shaking. He pushed himself up, forearms braced on either side of Noah’s body. “Noah?” He was stunned to see Noah crying. “Baby?”  
  
That only seemed to make Noah cry even more. He gripped Luke’s shoulder tightly, holding him close. “I just… I’m okay, I’m sorry, I’m… I just missed you, Luke. I missed you so much. And I thought we’d never-”  
  
Luke kissed him again, trying to stop both their tears. “I missed you too,” he whispered between kisses. “I love you. Always always, understand me?”  
  
Noah hugged him so tightly Luke wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up with bruises. “Same here,” he replied, shaky but so sure. He buried his face in Luke’s neck and just held on.  
  
 _Speaking of bruises_ , Luke could have kicked himself then. He gently, cautiously, eased himself off of Noah to lie next to him again, fingers tracing along the ugly colors and damage along his rib cage. “As much as I’d love to tear those pants off and have my wicked way with you,” he grinned at the expectant blush on Noah’s face, “I don’t think you’re ready for that type of exertion just yet.” He kissed Noah’s cheek instead, brushed away the last of the tears. “But it’s okay, I can wait.”  
  
“Just not as long as the last time we waited, okay?” Noah half-smiled, eyes twinkling. (Luke had never really liked the expression ‘eyes twinkling’ before, but that’s only because he never thought it actually happened. Until he met Noah’s eyes.)  
  
He kissed Noah again, his lips and Noah’s lips molding together, fitting together just right. “That can be another rule.”  
  
Noah smiled happily. “Good.” He carefully twisted and draped himself around Luke, his head leaning against Luke’s shoulder. “I like these rules.”  
  
“Good,” Luke echoed, snuggling in close, making himself comfortable. “I called my mom while you were still asleep, to let her know where I was. She told me I wasn’t allowed to come home until I sorted things out with you, and I wasn’t allowed to eat dinner in her house unless I brought you with me.”  
  
Noah chuckled, deep and soft. “I don’t think I’m going to make it to dinner tonight, sorry.”  
  
“That’s okay, we’ll go tomorrow night,” Luke responded with a smile, trying to imagine what the look on his mom’s face would be when he and Noah showed up on her doorstep. "And you know we still have a lot to talk about, right?" At Noah's nod, face going apologetic again, Luke rubbed a hand down his back. "It's okay. Get some sleep now, and tomorrow we'll be together."  
  
Noah frowned a little, rubbing his face into Luke’s shirt. “I don’t even know what day it is anymore. What day is tomorrow?” He was about to get pulled into sleep again, Luke could tell.  
  
Luke kissed him one more time and pulled the comforter up over both of them. “Tomorrow’s Monday,” he murmured, starting to feel himself succumb to exhaustion too. Tomorrow was Monday, but a lot more than that too- it was forever. Luke smiled.

  



	5. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Noah was stuck with that jackass for a week. Mason kept telling him how much I had moved on, didn't love him... but Noah didn't give up on me. And I'm not giving up either."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

_…Monday…_

Luke woke up to the sound of a cell phone ringing somewhere nearby. He frowned with his eyes still closed, knowing it wasn’t his ringtone. But it took a few more seconds for his memory to come back and explain just why he was hearing the theme song to  _True Romance_.

He was already smiling before he opened his eyes, and he watched Noah roll over clumsily and grab his phone. “’Lo?” he murmured into it. Luke slid in close behind him, throwing an arm over his hip, nuzzling into the back of his neck.

Noah smiled and leaned back into Luke, still concentrating on the phone. “Hey,” his voice still a bit rough from sleep. “No, I’m okay. You kinda woke us up.” He sighed a little as Luke let his hand explore a little. “Yeah, Luke’s here.” He paused again, then blushed fiercely. “That’s none of your business.”

Luke propped himself up on one elbow, puzzled and indignant, staring down as Noah laughed. “Whatever, shut up. I’m hanging up now,” Noah rolled his eyes, still blushing the tiniest bit. “I promise, I’m feeling fi-” Whoever was on the other end cut him off. “Then I’m feeling  _better_ , okay? Go bother someone else now, Hughes.” He hung up, tossing his phone in the direction of his nightstand. Then he looked up at Luke, smiling. “Morning.”

Luke used his free hand to cradle Noah’s face. “Morning.” He leaned down, kissed him softly. “Casey calling to check up on you?”

Noah tried to follow him a little when he pulled back from the kiss. It took him a second to process Luke’s question. “Not Casey. Chris.” He lay back down on the bed, letting out his breath slowly. “Wanted to make sure I was following doctor’s orders, I guess.”

Luke let that sit in his brain a bit as he settled down again on the bed, hooking a leg over Noah’s hip and perching his chin on Noah’s shoulder. “I didn’t know you guys were friends.”

Noah shrugged his other shoulder. “Just in, um, the last couple months. Hung out a few times, gone to the gym to work out at the same time, stuff like that.”

“Oh, you’re going to the gym now?” Luke teased, purposefully keeping the conversation light. They’d done enough heavy-talk in the last twenty-four hours or so; they both needed a break.

“It helped pass the time,” Noah said, his voice light too. “And Casey would drag me out to Yo’s to drink or play darts, and Ali and Hunter make me go to dinner with them sometimes at Dr. Stewart’s house, and...” he hesitated for a moment before continuing. “And your dad and Molly make sure I eat lunch at Al’s with them once a week. It’s all... I don’t know, it helped get me through sometimes.”

Luke swallowed hard past the hesitancy and pain he could hear on the edge of Noah’s voice. He forced a smile. “Well Noah Mayer, are you admitting that being around other people in social situations is a  _good_ thing?” he teased.

“I’ve evolved,” Noah mumbled, blushing once again, though his eyes met Luke’s with a little bit of uncertainty.

Luke leaned up and kissed him reassuringly. “I’ve missed some things, haven’t I?” At Noah’s nod, he shifted in even closer. “You’re back in school?” Another nod. “And working on another film?” He nodded again. “How’s all that going?”

Noah smiled. “Pretty good, I guess. It was strange at first, being back. Like, I wasn’t sure how to act around everyone. And they didn’t know how to act around me. They were either weirded out by the whole Mason thing, or by the blind thing, or... um,” he winced. “Some of them knew about Reid and all of that.”

Luke winced too, unconsciously pulling Noah a little closer to him, tightening his hold. “Were they... were you okay?”

Noah traced a finger up and down Luke’s back. “Luke, I grew up as a skinny, shy movie nerd, always the new kid in the class. And that was  _before_  I became The Gay Orphan. I’m used to people’s comments, it’s okay.”

Luke closed his eyes for a second, turning his head to press a kiss to whatever part of Noah was closest to him. That didn’t really answer his question (or maybe it did), so instead he went back to his earlier question. “You’re making another movie?”

He felt Noah nod against him. “About being blind.”

Luke’s hand stilled from where it had been drawing random shapes on Noah’s chest. “Y-you are?”

“Yeah,” Noah’s answer was quiet. “A documentary. About what it’s like for different people. How they deal.  _If_ they deal. I went back and filmed a lot of stuff at the rehab center, and even some of the footage I shot when  _I_ was blind is usable, so...” he fidgeted under Luke, and Luke knew he was embarrassed. “I’m on track to graduate at the end of the summer now. Or December if I want to wait.”

Luke smiled big then, dropping a few playful, smacking kisses onto Noah’s mouth. “I’m so proud of you,” he whispered in between each one. “So damn proud.”

He loved the matching grin on Noah’s face. “God I missed you so much,” he said back, just as softly, his arms tightening around Luke.

Luke was still too busy kissing every bit of his face to answer at first. Then, “I missed you too,” he mouthed into the skin of Noah’s neck. “I missed lots of things...” He kissed his ear, his cheek, his closed eyelids, his forehead. “Too much.” He finally pulled back to catch his breath. “That’s not gonna happen again, okay?”

“I know. I won’t let it,” Noah replied, steady and confident. He slid both hands up to Luke’s face, cradling it close to his. Luke smiled softly, held still while Noah’s eyes scanned over his face slowly, intently. Re-memorizing every inch and curve and eyelash.

“I’m here,” Luke promised, shaking at the wonder, the relief, the love he could see in Noah’s eyes. For a brief second he wondered what he had really done to deserve all that, but then he remembered their rules. They both deserved it because they loved each other, that’s all that needed to be said. He smiled, letting Noah pull him in and kiss him again, slow and deep. Promising again,  _I’m here._

************

There was a giant, screamingly-loud moment of silence when he and Noah stepped into the kitchen that evening. He felt Noah grip his hand even tighter out of nerves, but Luke just smiled. There was nothing to be nervous about, and Noah should know that. He waved his free hand at the large group assembled there. “Um, hey?”

That was all it took. “Noah!” the kids seemed to shriek it in one voice, the girls jumping up from the table and Ethan wriggling even quicker out the jacket Lily was trying to pull off of him.

Luke released Noah’s hand and moved it to his back instead, knowing to brace him for the onslaught. Sure enough, Natalie and Ethan crashed headfirst into Noah with enough force to knock him back into Luke. Faith’s approach was a bit gentler but just as happy, and she hugged both of them. Luke smiled, hugging her back.

“Are you here for dinner?” Natalie asked, grinning up at Noah.

He tugged playfully on one of her braids. “If it’s okay with you guys and your grandma.” He looked up at the adults in the room, smile turning uncertain.

Which, again, was really silly. And Emma confirmed that, coming forward and pulling Noah into a warm hug of her own. Luke pulled the kids away, exchanging a smile with Holden from where he stood next to Molly.  _We’re okay_ , he told his dad silently.

Emma had a hard time letting Noah go. “Oh honey,” she sighed, her fingers tracing the bruise on the side of his face. “I was so worried about you.”

“I’m fine, it’s not as bad as it looks,” he assured her.

She nodded, hugging him again. “I’m not just talking about this past week,” she whispered, just loud enough for Luke to hear. “It’s good to have you back, Noah.”

Noah’s eyes were shining blue as he nodded back, the smile on his face just as bright. “For me too.”

Ethan broke up the moment then, of course, grabbing Noah’s hand and leading him over to the table, babbling a mile a minute. Lily came up next to Luke, putting her arm around him. “Come by the house sometime soon too, okay?” she whispered as she re-shouldered her purse.

Luke frowned. “You’re not staying?”

She glanced around the kitchen, trying not to let her eyes pause on Holden and Molly. “I was just here to drop off the kids, sweetie.”

“No,” a voice interrupted. Both Luke and Lily turned with surprise to see Molly approach, Holden busy talking to Noah. Molly glanced at them with a smile, then turned back to Lily and Luke. “Lily, you should stay for dinner. It’s a special occasion, after all. He would...” she took a breath, smiled more genuinely. “We all want you to stay.”

Lily stared at her for a moment before giving a nod, a tight smile of her own, and walked with Luke over to the table. Luke was relieved to see her relax though, once she was sitting next to the kids and everyone. They all were relaxed, and dinner was a loud and happy affair, lots of laughing and smiling. And eating. Emma took one look at Noah’s slightly-skinnier frame and tsked her way through cooking two more dishes.

After the tables were cleared, Emma loaded up as many leftovers as possible into Tupperware containers. “Noah, dear, you’re taking these with you.” She didn’t even pretend to make it a request.

Noah tried anyway. “Oh, you don’t have to-”

“Noah Mayer,” she cut him off, shaking a spatula at him. “Do you want to take them now or have us drop them off later?”

Luke laughed, throwing his arm around Noah. “We’ll take them now, Grandma.”

Emma looked at him a little sharper, and Luke could hear some conversation behind him stop. “We?” she repeated.

Luke nodded confidently. “I’m going to stay at his place for a few days. With Ali in and out a lot for work, he needs someone around until he’s fully recovered. I think that’s my job,” he turned and kissed Noah’s cheek, seeing the slightly surprised look on Noah’s face. “Um, that is, if it’s okay with Noah, I guess.” He heard Holden chuckle quietly behind him.

To his (slight) shock and (giant) relief, Noah just smiled back at him. “I’m glad for the help,” he replied. Luke would’ve kissed him again, but the kids were still around, making noises, wanting to take Noah out to the barn and show him the new horses. So instead he hugged Noah to him for a second before releasing him into the hands of his siblings.

Lily followed them out of the house, heading home for real this time. After a quick hug and kiss to everyone, she walked with Luke to her car at the end of the driveway. “So you two are...” she trailed off.

He nodded. “We’re working on it. Talking a lot right now.”

She smiled, almost relieved. “That’s good. That needs to happen. Because with you two... You treated each other better, with more love, than practically anyone I’ve ever seen. But you hurt each other a lot too.”

“Yeah, I know,” he said softly. “Most of the time without meaning to.” He looked up at her. “The rehab center? He thought we were shipping him off because he was too much for us to deal with. He didn’t want to go, he thought we wanted him gone.”

”Oh, Noah...” She rubbed at her eyes briefly, frowning. "I didn't even think of that. He really thought we were sending him away? That we didn't care?"

Luke shrugged. "You know Noah, Mom. He always thinks he's a burden." Quieter, "We just didn't help matters very much." He thought back on what else Noah had confessed last night, but couldn't share that with her. That was Noah's story to tell.

"It's not going to be easy, Luke," she warned kindly. "After everything that's happened lately, you two have a lot of work to do to get back what you had."

"I know that," he said. "But we will. We both want to. I mean, he... Noah was stuck with that jackass for a week. Mason kept telling him how much I had moved on, didn't love him... but Noah didn't give up on me. And I'm not giving up either."

Lily laughed sadly then. "Sweetie, I know this is going to sound rich coming from me, but... are you sure you're ready? To jump into another serious relationship without taking a breath?"

It was funny coming from her of all people, but he understood. "I never let go of Noah, Mom. It doesn't feel like jumping into 'another' relationship. It's Noah. It's different, it’s getting back what I had." He sighed a little, trying to sort out his thoughts. "Being with Reid was like seeing the world for what it was. He's such a realist, you know? Straightforward. With him, I could look at things and... and  _see_ them, categorize them, accept them. Good or bad, I could see things for what they were."

"And with Noah?" she asked with a fond smile.

He smiled too. "With Noah, I see things for what they could be. Reid's an 'is.' Noah's a, a 'can.' He makes me feel like everything can always be better. There’s possibility, I guess, or hope. I don't know. God, I sound lame," he finished with a laugh.

Lily shook her head, pride and joy warring a little bit in her smile. “No, you sound like a writer,” she half-teased.

He probably had a Noah-level blush on his face now. “Whatever. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with Reid being that way. Or with me being with someone like that. It was great for awhile. But Noah, he just, he makes me want to...”

“To be a better man?” She was definitely teasing now.

He rolled his eyes at her. “To try.”

“Try what?”

“Anything,” he answered. “Everything.”

************

Holden leaned against the barn door, silently observing as his two youngest pulled Noah from one stall to the next, introducing him by name to the newest horses. He hid his smile when Noah was forced to say hello to each one (“so they get used to your voice,” Natalie patiently explained).

“Okay kiddos, I think Grandma’s got fresh cookies for everyone,” he finally called out. It was like flipping a switch, and Nat and Ethan were running out of the barn like cartoon characters on speed. They would have dragged Noah along with them, but the ringing of his cell phone stopped him. Holden eyed him curiously, letting the kids go ahead inside while he slowed down next to Noah.

“Hello?” Noah answered. Two seconds into the response, his face went stony and dark. “Um, no, I won’t.” He paused to listen. “Yes, I understand. Thank you, but I won’t accept the charges. Goodbye.” He snapped his phone shut with more force than was probably necessary, shoving it back in his pocket.

Holden watched him out of the corner of his eye. “Who was that?” he asked softly.

Noah let out a semi-sigh. “My dad. Well, not really him, just the woman from Statesville who handles outgoing calls.”

Holden felt his blood start to boil just a little at the mention of the Colonel. “He’s been calling you?” He sat down on the wooden bench on the porch, more than grateful when Noah did the same.

“He’s been trying to. Since, um, since the surgery worked and all,” Noah stared down at his shoes.

Holden shook his head. “What does he want?”

Noah laughed incredulously. “I don’t know, I haven’t accepted any of the charges from the prison to speak with him. I don’t want to hear what he has to say.”

“Really?” Holden looked over at him surprised and a little relieved.

"I tried to contact him a bunch of times after my accident. After I went blind, and before the surgery when I thought I might not... Just in case, you know?” Noah looked up at him briefly, but his head was back down before Holden could get a read on whatever he was thinking. “But he didn’t take any of my calls. He didn’t want to have anything to do with me when I was so, so _defective_. So I’m done with him.”

Holden studied him in silence for a minute. “And you’re okay with that? I think it’s probably a smart decision, but I want to make sure you’re doing it for the right reason,” he forced himself to say it bluntly, unsure of how Noah would take it.

He was pleasantly surprised when Noah looked up at him, a half-smile on his face. “I’m okay with it. He’s... he’s poison. Always has been. He has to learn he doesn’t have control of my life anymore.”

He smiled now, squeezing Noah’s shoulder. “Good. I’m proud of you, Noah.” He smiled wider at the way Noah stuttered at the praise. “And you know that this family will be here for you no matter what, whether you’re single or with Luke or married to Brad Pitt, you know that, right?”

Noah’s eyes widened. “Brad Pitt?” he repeated, smiling despite the situation.

Holden shrugged, hiding his embarrassment. “First name I could think of.”

“He’s not even gay,” Noah informed him.

“He’s not even my point,” Holden shot back with a smirk. “You do get my point, don’t you?” he asked, getting serious again.

Noah’s expression softened too. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. Um, thank you.”

The moment was interrupted by the reappearance of Ethan and Natalie, hands and mouths stuffed with cookies. “Grandma said we have to share,” Ethan announced, holding out a slightly crumbly cookie to Noah.

Holden felt some leftover tension in him ease when Noah grinned wide, taking the cookie from Ethan. “Thanks, big guy,” he said, scooting over to make room for him on the bench. But Ethan ignored it, climbing up into Noah’s lap just as Natalie did the same in Holden’s.

Holden just barely kept himself from laughing at the surprised look on Noah’s face. Instead he looked down at his daughter. “So what’s the plan for tonight, kiddo?” It was Natalie’s turn to pick the activity before bed, as she had loudly reminded them at breakfast this morning. And at lunch. And dinner.

She cocked her head to the side, still munching on her (probably second or third) cookie. “A movie!” she answered decisively before turning to the young man next to them. “Noah, what movie should we watch? Are you and Luke gonna stay and watch it with us? Have you seen any new movies this summer? Did you like them? Did you-”

“Hey, slow down Bug!” Luke dropped down into the empty space on the bench between Noah and Holden. He put his arm around Noah, hugging him and Ethan close. “How about we do a big giant Movie Marathon this weekend, okay? Noah and I have to get ready to leave now.”

“Why?” Natalie and Ethan whined almost in unison, matching Snyder-pouts on their faces.

“Yeah, why?” Noah asked before he could stop himself. And then blushed when both Luke and Holden raised their eyebrows at him.

“Because,” Luke gave Noah a pointed look. “Noah hasn’t been feeling well the past couple days and probably needs some more rest.”

Noah had the good sense to look abashed by this, and Holden couldn’t keep the laugh inside now, especially when Ethan turned around in his lap and frowned at him worriedly. “You’re sick?” He reached up to put his hand on Noah’s forehead, obviously mimicking the gesture he’d seen grownups do before.

Noah pulled Ethan’s hand away, growling and pretending to eat it until Ethan was giggling again. “I’m okay, buddy. Not sick. Just, uh,” he looked to Luke for help, but Luke just shrugged. Noah shrugged back. “Just got a little banged up, that’s all.”

Holden held back another chuckle when Ethan turned to him for confirmation, face solemn. “Daddy?”

Holden nodded seriously. “We’ll set up a Movie Night this weekend, kiddo. I think it’s almost Luke and Noah’s bed time.” He felt a great sense of pride when both of their faces turned nearly fire-engine red. Hey, he was a dad. If he couldn’t embarrass the hell out of his kids, what was he good for?

************

They were holding hands when they walked back into the apartment. Noah almost rolled his eyes at the way Ali’s face lit up at the sight of them, but a part of him was feeling the same way. Ecstatic, relieved, unbelievably grateful. So he just smiled back at her, let her hug him tightly.

“Good timing,” she commented, picking up her purse and keys. “I was just about to leave for my shift...” She looked at both of them purposefully. “I have a kinda crazy schedule for the next few days. In and out at weird hours. I was planning on crashing at Hunter’s for awhile, just so I know I’m not disrupting your... um, recuperating.”

He did roll his eyes this time when she actually winked at him. “Ali, you don’t have to kick yourself out of your own-”

“Noah Mayer, you stop right there,” she glared, somehow still smiling at the same time. “You need rest and a stress-free environment for awhile. You don’t need me interrupting.” She stepped forward, putting her hands on either side of his face. “You need to let him take care of you for a bit, okay?” She smiled, kissed his cheek, and with a wave to Luke, headed for the door.

Luke waited until she was gone, then tugged on Noah’s hand. “Come on.” He led Noah into his bedroom and lightly shoved him towards the bed. “Sit.”

Noah complied, but gave an exaggerated pout. “You’re being bossy.”

Luke half-smiled, dropping the bag of clothes he had quickly packed onto the floor. “I thought you liked it when I’m bossy.” He pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, then walked over to Noah’s dresser and did the same.

Noah watched him, still frowning. “That’s only because you usually get me to-”

“Hey now,” Luke cut him off with a grin. “Don’t get ahead of yourself there, Romeo.” He tossed the clothes onto the bed next to Noah before kneeling down in front of him and reaching to untie his shoes.

“Luke!” Noah leaned forward and grabbed his hand. “What are you doing?”

He looked up at Noah, confused. “Um, you usually like to have your shoes  _off_ when you sleep, don’t you?”

Noah’s expression was slightly pained. “But you don’t have to... I don’t want to make- you don’t have to do that for me,” he stammered and tried to explain.

Luke sat back on his heels a little, letting one of his hands slide up a little to rub at Noah’s calf. “Maybe I don’t have to. But I want to. And you’re supposed to be taking it easy, and having banged up ribs means it probably hurts to lean over like that.”

Noah fidgeted under his gaze for a moment, but then- to Luke’s admitted surprise- nodded and sat back again. “It hurts a little.”

He smiled some more. “Then let me help, okay? It’s just taking off your shoes, Noah. Not bowing down to you, Oh Mighty One.” While he spoke, he quickly undid the laces and pulled Noah’s shoes off. “You did the same for me when I was in a wheelchair, didn’t you? That didn’t make you subservient or whatever.” That being done, he stood, pausing to kiss Noah quickly on the lips. “So deal with it, Mayer.”

He looked a little stunned by Luke’s lecture, so Luke busied himself changing into the clothes he had gotten out for himself. After a few seconds, Noah did the same, still quiet. Luke left him alone for the most part, but couldn’t stop himself from leaning in to help pull his t-shirt down when Noah winced at stretching his arms. Their faces were suddenly close then, and Noah offered a little smile. “Thanks.”

They kissed again, softly. “You’re welcome,” his voice was just as soft. When Noah started to scoot back further onto the bed, Luke rushed to join him. “Up or down?” he asked, extra pillows in hand.

Noah’s smile was more genuine now, remembering their old arguments. “Up,” he answered, voice daring Luke to disagree. It was their old bit- when  _finally_  getting ready to  _actually_  go to bed, Noah always liked to stay up and watch late night TV while Luke just wanted to pass out and sleep.

Luckily, he didn’t want to sleep just yet. “Fine,” he sighed over-dramatically, just so he could see Noah’s smile grow wider. As Noah tried to sit back against the headboard, Luke used the pillows to prop him up, easing his upper body back into them. “Good?”

Noah quirked up one side of his mouth, sliding an arm around Luke’s waist and pulling him close. Luke went willingly, curling into Noah’s side a little. “It’s good now,” Noah answered.

“Such a sweet talker,” Luke teased, tapping him playfully on the chest. They sat in silence for a few minutes, flipping through the channels before settling on Comedy Central. “I like this, you know. You don’t have to be embarrassed.” At Noah’s confused look, he elaborated. “Taking care of you. I actually do enjoy it, despite whatever you think.”

Noah looked down, and for a minute Luke was sure he was going to joke or cute his way out of the conversation. But then, “I wasn’t allowed to, when I was little.”

“To let someone in?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

Noah nodded. “If I did, if I needed- if I asked for help, it meant I failed. He hated having to do things for me.”

Luke brought his hand up to Noah’s jaw, turning his face towards him. “I’m not him,” he said firmly.

“I know that!” Noah grabbed the hand, holding it in both of his. “God, Luke, of course I know that you’re not him. But... but I’m still me. It’s just hard sometimes, I’m sorry. But I will try. To, to get better. I promise.”

“I’m gonna to try a whole lot more too, okay? To really listen to you, to not push  _you_ somewhere you don’t want to go,” Luke linked his fingers with Noah’s. “I don’t want you to think you have to be some ‘better’ person to be with me. That’s not what either of us need, you know?” He shrugged. “I just need  _you_ , Noah. And you need me.”

“Yeah,” Noah said softly, just looking at him. “I do.”

Luke leaned up and kissed him. “We’re going to make this work this time,” he spoke with determination. “We’ve seen it now, how miserable we’d be without each other. So we’re going to remember that feeling from now on. Keep it from happening again. Deal?”

Noah was smiling now, and it eased the metric ton of tension in Luke’s chest. “Deal,” he replied, kissing Luke again as though to make it official. Luke decided it was necessary to give him another kiss back, longer, deeper this time. When they finally broke to catch their breath, Noah was smiling. “So now what do we do?”

“Now? We get some sleep.” He kissed him quickly before Noah had time to kiss him back.

“No, I mean, ‘we,’ ‘us,’ ‘this,’” Noah waved a hand in the air between them. “Are we... are you my boyfriend again?” he said almost wryly, unable to look Luke in the eye, as though he was embarrassed by how silly it sounded.

Of course, it didn’t sound silly to Luke. “Yes,” he said simply. “I am and you are and we are.” When did his hand end up in Noah’s hair? He didn’t really know, but it didn’t matter. He ran his fingers through it slowly. God, he had missed getting to do that.

“Good,” Noah tilted his head just a little into Luke’s hand. He had always loved it when Luke played with his hair too, even though Luke was sure he’d never admit it. “Because you’re it for me, Luke. You always have been.”

He smiled, he couldn’t help it. “Same here.”

It took Noah a second, but then he blushed and rolled his eyes. “Dork. Romantic, sappy, dork.”

Luke snuggled in close, pressed himself against Noah’s non-injured side, tangling their legs and their hands together carefully. “Yeah, and you love it.” He felt Noah kiss his forehead and knew it was true. After a few more minutes of whatever show it was (he could never tell them apart, though he knew Noah loved them), he looked up again. “So, I have an idea.”

Noah stared down at him. “Uh-oh?” he guessed.

Luke made a face at him teasingly. “Not ‘uh-oh.’ At least, I don’t think so.”

“Okay,” Noah turned a little so they were facing each other. “Shoot.”

“I want you to come work with me. At the hospital,” he braced himself for the reaction.

Noah went very still. “At the hospital,” he repeated slowly.

Luke interlocked their fingers, twisting them around. Anchoring them both. “We work well together, we always have. And for the hospital wing? The board is making all these decisions from an administrative standpoint. It would help to have a former patient’s perspective, is all.”

“Luke...” Noah exhaled his name quietly, his expression pained.

Oh. Damn it, Luke should’ve known better. Anything related to hospitals was probably painful for Noah. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything about it. I don’t want-”

Noah shut him up rather effectively. When Luke opened his eyes (when exactly had he closed them?), Noah was smiling at him. “First, I love you. Second, you’re doing something really really good, that’s going to help a lot of people. You have no idea how proud I am of you, and how much I want to support you. Okay?”

Luke was not blushing. He wasn’t. He wasn’t fighting the urge to melt or sigh or do anything else a twelve-year-old girl would do when her crush says hi to her in homeroom. Instead, he cleared his throat awkwardly. “Okay, roger that. What’s the ‘but’ I can feel you’re about to say?”

“ _However_ ,” Noah said mock-sternly, “I don’t know how, um, smoothly it would go having me there with,” he hesitated, “with Reid. I don’t want to cause any drama, you know?” He rested their heads together. “And I don’t want it to seem like I have to be there because I don’t trust you to be around him, work with him. Because I do trust you.”

Luke twisted around a little so he could kiss Noah without breaking contact. “That didn’t even cross my mind,” he assured him. “Reid’s gonna be busy arguing with Chris all the time anyway. That wouldn’t matter.”

“You know, I’ve been telling Chris he’s a little bit gay,” Noah commented with a half-shrug. “Maybe the two of them-”

“Oh my god, shut up,” Luke smacked him on the shoulder, fighting off a shudder and a grin at the same time. “Anyway, the board thing is just an idea. I know you’re going to be busy with school and your film and Java.”

“Not Java,” Noah corrected.

“You quit?!” Luke sat up quickly, turning to face Noah head-on. “When? Why?” Then a thought struck him. “Wait, they didn’t fire you, did they? God, it’s not your fault you were blind and then you were kidnapped and, hey- they were pretty lenient about hours when you were working there, they can’t just all of a sudden-”

Sometimes he wondered if he rambled just  _so_ Noah would shut him up by kissing him. It was actually a good strategy, he filed that away for later thought. “I quit,” Noah murmured, his lips still barely touching Luke’s. “Got a new job.”

“Really?” Luke brightened, tugging on the bottom Noah’s t-shirt impatiently. “Where?”

Noah smiled shyly. “Well, thanks to Molly and Mrs. Hughes, and probably your mom, I’m-”

“WOAK?” he interrupted, grinning widely. “That’s awesome!”

Noah nodded, reaching and pulling Luke back against him. “Nothing major, of course. But it’s a start. Kim said I can come in as soon as Chris gives me the okay to be back on my feet.”

Luke made himself comfortable, leaning slightly against Noah’s chest, smiling wider when Noah wrapped his arms around him. “New job, voluntarily going out with people, wearing glasses, admitting you’re in pain... Wow, babe. You’ve come a long way, haven’t you?”

Noah rested his chin on Luke’s shoulder. “I was just trying to find you.”

He blinked back some tears, nestling in more. “You did.” Thank God. He flashed back to Saturday for a moment, when he and Jack had been searching for Noah in that damn house. “And I’m glad I found you.”

Noah’s voice was soft. “Me too.” He pressed a kiss to Luke’s shoulder and then to the side of his neck. “Me too.” Luke tilted his head, and this time when they kissed, it wasn’t in relief, or in reassurance, or in reconciliation. It was the start of something new.

 

THE END


End file.
